o you mean that when I will to do a certain thing I can't do
it? Oh, that's absurd. For instance, I will to go and touch that chair!
[_She goes and touches it._] There! [_Triumphantly._] I've done it! That
shows I've got free will. [_The_ PROFESSOR _shakes his head._] Well,
then how did I do it?

_Prof._ I affirm that your willing to touch that chair or not to touch
it, your actual touching it, or not touching it; your possession or
non-possession of a criminal impulse----

_Dolly._ I haven't any criminal impulses----

_Prof._ [_Shakes his head and goes on._] Your yielding to that criminal
impulse or your not yielding to it--all these states of consciousness
are entirely dependent upon the condition, quantity and arrangement of
certain atoms in the gray matter of your brain. You think, you will, you
act according as that gray matter works. You did not cause or make that
condition of the atoms of your gray matter, therefore you are not
responsible for thinking or acting in this way or that, seeing that
your thoughts, and your actions, and that direction of your impulses
which you call your will, are all precisely determined and regulated by
the condition and arrangement of these minute atoms of your gray matter!

_Dolly._ [_Has at first listened with great attention, but has grown
bewildered as the_ PROFESSOR _goes on._] I don't care anything about my
gray matter! I've quite made up my mind I won't have any more bills!

_Pilcher._ [_Turning to_ RENIE.] Does Mrs. Sturgess agree with the
Professor's doctrine?

_Renie._ No, indeed! To say that we're mere machines--it's horrid.

_Prof._ The question is not whether it's horrid, but whether it's true.

_Pilcher._ What do you think, Mr. Barron?

_Matt._ It's a very nutty and knotty problem. I'm watching to see Dolly
and Harry solve it!

_Dolly._ See us solve it! How?

_Matt._ You and Harry heard a most thrilling, soul-stirring sermon last
night.

_Pilcher._ You had good hearsay accounts of my sermon?

_Matt._ Excellent! I should have heard it myself, but I've reached an
age when it would be dangerous to give up any of my old and cherished
bad habits. So in place of going to church and selfishly reforming
myself, I shall have to be content with watching Dolly and Harry reform
themselves.

_Dolly._ Don't take any notice of him, Mr. Pilcher, he's the most
cynical, hardened reprobate! I have to blush for him a hundred times a
day.

[RENIE _strolls casually i