first spare five minutes I'm going to brisk about,
and do a bit of New Year's tidying up.

[_He is standing over_ RENIE, _who has opened his letter in her
novel; he again exchanges a secret look of understanding with her,
and makes a sign to her to go into the conservatory._

_Enter_ CRIDDLE.

_Criddle._ [_Announcing._] Mr. Pilcher!

_Enter the_ REVEREND JAMES PILCHER, _a big, strong, bright, genial,
manly, hearty English parson about forty. Exit_ CRIDDLE.

_Dolly._ How d'ye do? [_Shaking hands._

_Pilcher._ How d'ye do? Happy New Year, once more! Happy New Year, Mr.
Barron!

_Matt._ [_Shaking hands._] A happy New Year.

_Pilcher._ How do again, Telfer?

_Harry._ How are you?

_Pilcher._ Good morning, Mrs. Sturgess.

_Renie._ Good morning.

[_At_ PILCHER'S _entrance she has hidden her French novel behind
her in the chair. In shaking hands with_ PILCHER _it drops on to
the floor and_ LUCAS'S _letter drops out._ LUCAS _goes to pick it
up,_ MR. PILCHER _is before him, picks up the novel and letter and
hands them to_ RENIE. _In taking them she shows some confusion._

_Pilcher._ [_Genially._] Improving the New Year by getting a thorough
knowledge of Parisian life and manners, I see.

_Renie._ [_Confused._] No!--I had begun the book a week ago and so I
thought--a--I'd better finish it.

_Lucas._ Good morning, Mr. Pilcher.

_Pilcher._ [_Shaking hands._] Good morning.

_Lucas._ Rattling good sermon you gave us last night.

_Pilcher._ I'm glad you thought it worth coming so far to hear.

_Lucas._ Not at all. Jolly well worth coming for, eh, Mrs. Sturgess?

[_With a sly little look and shake of the head at_ RENIE.

_Renie._ I thoroughly enjoyed it!

_Pilcher._ [_A little surprised._] Enjoyed it! Now I meant to make you
all very uncomfortable!

_Dolly._ Oh, you gave us a good shaking up, and we deserved it! I don't
think you've met Professor Sturgess?

_Pilcher._ [_Advancing to_ PROFESSOR.] No, but I've read his book, "Man,
the Automaton."

_Prof._ [_Bowing._] Not with disapproval, I trust?

_Pilcher._ [_Shaking hands very cordially._] With the most profound
disapproval, with boundless, uncompromising dissent and antagonism!

_Prof._ I'm sorry!

_Pilcher._ Why, you deny that man has any vestige of free will.

_Prof._ Certainly. The longer I live, the more I'm convinced that free
will is a purely subjective illusion.

_Dolly._ D