t of my own disposal, and delivered up every faculty of the soul
to the sensiblest of joys, that affecting me infinitely more with
my distinction of the person, than of the sex, now brought my heart
deliriously into play: my heart, which, eternally constant to Charles,
had never taken any part in my original sacrifices to the calls of
constitution, complaisance, or interest. But ah! what became of me,
when as the powers of solid pleasure thickened upon me, I could not help
feeling the stiff stake that had been adorned with the trophies of
my despoiled virginity, bearing hard and inflexible against one of my
thighs, which I had not yet opened, from a true principle of modesty,
revived by a passion too sincere to suffer any aiming at the false merit
of difficulty, or my putting on an impertinent mock coyness.

I have, I believe, somewhere before remarked, that feel of that
favourite piece of manhood has, in the very nature of it, something
inimitably pathetic. Nothing can be dearer to the touch, nor can affect
it with a more delirious sensation. Think then! as a love thinks, what
must be the consummate transport of that quickest of our senses, in
their central seat too! when, after so long a deprival, it felt itself
re-inflamed under the pressure of that peculiar sceptre-member, which
commands us all: but especially my darling, elect from the face of the
whole earth. And now, at its mightiest point of stiffness, it felt to me
something so subduing so active, so solid and agreeable, that I know
not what name to give its singular impression: but the sentiment of
consciousness of its belonging to my supremely beloved youth, gave me
so pleasing an agitation, and worked so strongly on my soul, that it sent
all its sensitive spirits to that organ of bliss in me, dedicated to its
reception. There, concentering to a point, like rays in a burning glass,
they glowed, they burnt with the intensest heat; the springs of
pleasure were, in short, wound up to such a pitch, I panted now with so
exquisitely keen an appetite for the eminent enjoyment, that I was even
sick with desire, and unequal to support the combination of two distinct
ideas, that delightfully distracted me: for all the thought I was
capable of, was that I was now in touch, at once, with the instrument
of pleasure, and the great seal of love. Ideas that, mingling streams,
poured such an ocean of intoxicating bliss on a weak vessel, all too
narrow to contain it, that I lay