on roller-skates, Diana with a hat,
And Venus playing tennis with Achilles at the bat.

"Yet these my customers pass by, and ask with interest keen,
For things with long and tiresome names,--I don't know what they mean.
And so I let my hammers hang, and let my chisels rust,
For I cannot do an anaglyptic ceroplastic bust."

A Tragic Tale of Tea

[Illustration]

The Beetle was blind, and the Bat was blinder,
And they went to take tea with the Scissors-grinder.
The Scissors-grinder had gone away
Across the ocean to spend the day;
But he'd tied his bell to the grapevine swing.
The Bat and the Beetle heard it ring,
And neither the Beetle nor Bat could see
Why no one offered them any tea.
So, polite and patient, they're waiting yet
For the cup of tea they expect to get.

[Illustration]

The Erratic Rat

[Illustration]

There was a ridiculous Rat
Who was awfully puffy and fat.
"I'll carry," he said,
"This plate on my head,
'Twill answer in place of a hat."

[Illustration]

And then he remarked with a frown,
"I suppose that I must have a gown;
I'll make me a kilt
Of this old crazy-quilt,
To wear when I'm going to town.

"And of course, though the weather is warm,
It may be there'll come up a storm;
An umbrella I'll make
Of a caraway cake,
It'll match with my whole uniform.

And I'll carry a bottle of ink
In case I should wish for a drink;
And this flat-iron so sweet
I'll take with me to eat,
And now I am ready, I think."

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

The Two Friends

A Spider and a Centipede went out to take a walk;
The Centipede said frankly, "I will listen while you talk,
But I may appear distracted, or assume a vacant stare,
Because to keep my feet in step requires my constant care."

Said the Spider: "I appreciate your most peculiar case,
And your feet must be quite handy when you want to run a race;
But though you gain in some ways, in some other ways you lose;
And, of course, my friend, you must be quite extravagant in shoes."

"Ah! yes. Ah! yes," a heavy sigh escaped the Centipede;
"And I have other trials, too;--my life is hard indeed!
Why, sometimes when I'm very tired, a long, long time it takes
To ascertain with certainty which foot it is that aches.

"And when I go to dancing-class on Saturdays at three,
I find the First Position very difficult f