"I'm a poem for a paper," said the foolscap letter at last.

"Are you good?" asked a voice.

"Not good enough, I'm afraid," said the poem. "In fact I've been out and
back again seven times already."

"Guess what I am," said a sentimental murmur.

"Any one could guess that," was the gruff reply. "You're a love-letter."

"Quite right," said the sentimental murmur. "But how clever of you!"

"Well," said another, "you're not the only love-letter here. I'm a
love-letter too."

"How do you begin?" asked the first.

"I begin, 'My Darling,'" said the second love-letter.

"That's nothing," said the first; "I begin, 'My Ownest Own.'"

"I don't think much of either of those beginnings," said a new voice. "I
begin, 'Most Beautiful.'"

"You're from a man, I suppose?" said the second love-letter.

"Yes, I am," said the new one. "Aren't you?"

"No, I'm from a woman," said the second. "I'll admit your beginning's
rather good. But how do you end?"

"I end with 'A million kisses,'" said the new one.

"Ah, I've got you there!" said the second. "I end with 'For ever and
ever yours.'"

"That's not bad," said the second, "but my ending is pretty good in its
way. I end like this, 'To-morrow will be Heaven once more, for then we
meet again.'"

"Oh, do stop all this love talk!" said the gruff letter, when I was
conscious of a hand on my arm and a lantern in my face.

"Here," said the authoritative tones of the law, "I think you've been
leaning against this pillar-box long enough. If you can't walk I'll help
you home."

Thus does metallic prose invade the delicate realms of supernature.

* * * * *

"Captain Amilcar Magalhaes, chief of the Brazilian Mission,
accompanying Mr. Roosevelt, says the ex-President has discovered
a tribe of savages named Panhates. The total bag collected on
the expedition amounts to about 2,000 specimens.--Reuter."

_Sussex Daily News._

The flower of the tribe, no doubt.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Promising Member of Junior Form (having been given a
lesson on Samson and told to write an account of him)_, "I forgot that
man's name you was telling us about, so I called him 'Archie.'"]

* * * * *

WATER IS BEST.

(_General Villa, who is a teetotaler, has denounced General Huerta as an
old drunkard._)

When sons of Bacchus
Fiercely attack us,
Lauding the