s were true, and in what sense absolutely false. We seemed to
have cut ourselves adrift from the human race, and to look down upon it
from a position whence its basest moral corruptions and most detestable
oppressions marked the rhythm in a majestic poem. The infinite vagaries
of crime, the unspeakable ecstasies of blessedness, were equally
wholesome as equally full of Law. At times it seemed impossible that any
words could so mould themselves as to give distinctness to the thought
which flashed through our minds. At times a representation corresponding
to what Vannelle so eloquently uttered seemed embodied in every phase of
opinion man had known. But, alas, there were also periods of doubt and
despair analogous to those which succeed physical intoxication. The
grosser systems of antiquity were not only considered, but actually
personated in our experience. Here it was necessary for us to penetrate
into some of the darkest recesses of the human soul, and to test how
nearly allied is that which exalts man to that which degrades him, how
the noblest virtues plunge headlong into the maddest passions. Yet we
learned to welcome these convulsions of Chaos and Old Night, as blindly
bearing us onward towards our destined goal.

--But enough of this. I would only faintly express how terribly real was
the delusion (the world would so call it, and who am I to gainsay it?)
which has overhung my earthly life.

Let me tell in briefest words how the spell was broken,--partially
broken. During those months of passionate exaltation, letters from
friends once dear to me had been thrown aside half-read, and wholly
valueless. On the eleventh of November I started,--as a black seal was
to be broken. My uncle had suddenly died. The last instalment of his
annuity had been paid, and my little sister, an orphan and penniless,
was thrown upon me for education and support. Shame to me that I then
hesitated! Yet it was some hours before I could persuade myself to put
the letter into Vannelle's hand, and say that I must abandon him
forever. Let me forget the bitter temptation. Of course my friend begged
to provide for my sister from his own ample means, and even offered her
an asylum at his house. I still retained sufficient sanity to perceive
the wrong of bringing a young child to that dismal place to wither
removed from all human companionship and sympathy. A spirit not in a
condition to be sustained and elevated by the society of Herbert would