Sun and the Free Press, each determined to be the first to offer_
GEOFFREY _a place on the staff of his respective journal. The curtain
falls and_ STOEPEL _directs each member of the orchestra to play the
tune that he may like best. After three hours of this sort of thing a
humane person in the audience brings in a saw and begins to file it. The
rest of the audience are thereupon gently lulled to sleep by the music
of the file--so soft and soothing does it sound by contrast with_
STOEPEL'S _demoniac orchestra._

ACT V.--ANNIE, _in the midst of misery and a gorgeous silk dress with
lace trimmings, is seen going to bed in her best clothes, and without
taking her hair down--this being the well-known custom among fashionably
dressed girls_. GEOFFREY _enters and attempts to strangle her, but she
is awakened by the considerate forethought of a dumb woman, who loudly
calls her, and_ GEOFFREY _conveniently lies down and dies of paralysis.
All the rest of the dramatis personae enter, and indulge in exclamations
of joy. The curtain falls for the last time, and_ STOEPEL _is removed
under the protection of a strong platoon of policemen, to the secret
abode where_ DALY _keeps him hidden during the day from the wrath of an
outraged public_.

And the undersigned goes home to breakfast--it being now nearly 6
A.M.--reflecting upon the beauty of the theatre, the neatness of the
scenery, the general ability of the actors, the capabilities of the
play, (after Mr. DALY shall have cut it down to a reasonable length,)
the pluck of the young manager, and the unredeemed badness of the
orchestra, as it is conducted by Mr. STOEPEL. Tell me, gentle DALY,
tell; why in the name of all that is intelligent, do you let STOEPEL
transform each _entr' acte_ at your theatre into a prolonged purgatory,
by the villainous way in which he plays the most execrable music, for
the most intolerable periods of time?

MATADOR.

* * * * *

L. N. IN PRUSSIA.

Yes, I am quite upset;
In fact, I'm dizzy yet
With all that rapid riding, day and night;
But still, two things I see;
They've made an end of Me,
And blown the Empire higher than a kite!

Yes, here I am, at last--
And all my dreams are past.
didn't think to enter Prussia thus!
Confound that "Vorwarts" man!
When first the war began
He seemed as logy as an omnibus.

Faugh! smell the