t awful loneliness is crushing my soul. I will kneel
before her and beseech her of her great woman's goodness to give me her
love again, and to be my helpmeet and my companion who will be cherished
with all that there is of loyalty in me to her life's end. She will pity
me a little, for I have suffered, and I will pity her tenderly, in deep
sincerity, and our life together will be based on that all-understanding
which signifies all-forgiveness. And it shall be a real life together.
I used to smile, in a superior way, at her dread of solitude. Heaven
forgive me. I did not then know its terrors. It comforted for the first
few benumbed days, but now it is gathering around me like a mysterious
and appalling force. I crave the human presence in my home. I need the
woman's presence in my heart.

We shall live together then as man and wife, in defiance of the world.
Let the moralists blame us. We shall not care. It will make little
social difference to Judith, and as for myself, have I not already
inflicted public outrage on society? does not my Aunt Jessica regard me
as a wringer of the public conscience, and does not my Cousin Rosalie
mention me with a shudder of horror in her tepid prayers? If I really
give them cause for reprobation they will be neither wiser, nor better,
nor sorrier. And if the baronetcy flickers out in unseemly odour, I
for one shall know that the odour is sweeter than that wherein it was
lighted, when my great-grandfather earned the radiance by services
rendered at Brighton to His Royal Highness the Prince Regent. This is
the only way in which I can make Judith reparation, the only way in
which I can find comfort. We shall travel. Italy, beloved of Judith, is
calling me. Probably Florence will be our settled home. I shall give
up this house of madness. The clean sweet love of Judith will purify my
heart of this poisonous passion, and in the end there will be peace.

I have taken Carlotta's photograph from its frame and cast it into the
fire, thus burning her for her witchcraft. I watched the flames leap and
curl. The last look she gave me before they licked away her face had its
infinite allurement, its devilish sorcery so intensified in the fierce
yellow light, that the yearning for her clutched me by the throat and
shook me through all my being.

But it is over now. I have done with Carlotta. If she thinks I am going
to sit and let the wind which comes over Primrose Hill drive me mad
like Gastib