e to the nose. Ever
since your generous present to him, though he declares he never consumed
a morsel of it, he has been under the distressing illusion that his nose
is enormous, and I assure you he exhibits quite a maidenly timidity
in following it--through a doorway, for instance. He complains of its
terrible weight. I have conceived that Benson invisible might be sitting
on it. His hand, and the doctor's, are in hourly consultation with it,
but I fear it will not grow smaller. The Pilgrim has begotten upon it a
new Aphorism: that Size is a matter of opinion."

"Poor uncle Hippy!" said Richard, "I wonder he doesn't believe in magic.
There's nothing supernatural to rival the wonderful sensations he does
believe in. Good God! fancy coming to that!"

"I'm sure I'm very sorry," Lucy protested, "but I can't help laughing."

Charming to the wise youth her pretty laughter sounded.

"The Pilgrim has your notion, Richard. Whom does he not forestall?
'Confirmed dyspepsia is the apparatus of illusions,' and he accuses the
Ages that put faith in sorcery, of universal indigestion, which may have
been the case, owing to their infamous cookery. He says again, if you
remember, that our own Age is travelling back to darkness and ignorance
through dyspepsia. He lays the seat of wisdom in the centre of our
system, Mrs. Richard: for which reason you will understand how sensible
I am of the vast obligation I am under to you at the present moment, for
your especial care of mine."

Richard looked on at Lucy's little triumph, attributing Adrian's
subjugation to her beauty and sweetness. She had latterly received a
great many compliments on that score, which she did not care to hear,
and Adrian's homage to a practical quality was far pleasanter to the
young wife, who shrewdly guessed that her beauty would not help her much
in the struggle she had now to maintain. Adrian continuing to lecture
on the excelling virtues of wise cookery, a thought struck her: Where,
where had she tossed Mrs. Berry's book?

"So that's all about the home-people?" said Richard.

"All!" replied Adrian. "Or stay: you know Clare's going to be married?
Not? Your Aunt Helen"--

"Oh, bother my Aunt Helen! What do you think she had the impertinence to
write--but never mind! Is it to Ralph?"

"Your Aunt Helen, I was going to say, my dear boy, is an extraordinary
woman. It was from her originally that the Pilgrim first learnt to
call the female the practical animal.