nd
my apparent misery--I always look so when I am steeped in a profound and
reverent joy. Go on--she told you her age?"

"Yes, she told me her age, and all about her mother, and her
grandmother, and her other relations, and all about herself."

"Did she volunteer these statistics?"

"No, not exactly that. I asked the questions and she answered them."

"This is divine. Go on--it is not possible that you forgot to inquire
into her politics?"

"No, I thought of that. She is a democrat, her husband is a republican,
and both of them are Baptists."

"Her husband? Is that child married?"

"She is not a child. She is married, and that is her husband who is
there with her."

"Has she any children."

"Yes--seven and a half."

"That is impossible."

"No, she has them. She told me herself."

"Well, but seven and a HALF? How do you make out the half? Where does
the half come in?"

"There is a child which she had by another husband--not this one
but another one--so it is a stepchild, and they do not count in full
measure."

"Another husband? Has she another husband?"

"Yes, four. This one is number four."

"I don't believe a word of it. It is impossible, upon its face. Is that
boy there her brother?"

"No, that is her son. He is her youngest. He is not as old as he looked;
he is only eleven and a half."

"These things are all manifestly impossible. This is a wretched
business. It is a plain case: they simply took your measure, and
concluded to fill you up. They seem to have succeeded. I am glad I am
not in the mess; they may at least be charitable enough to think there
ain't a pair of us. Are they going to stay here long?"

"No, they leave before noon."

"There is one man who is deeply grateful for that. How did you find out?
You asked, I suppose?"

"No, along at first I inquired into their plans, in a general way, and
they said they were going to be here a week, and make trips round about;
but toward the end of the interview, when I said you and I would tour
around with them with pleasure, and offered to bring you over and
introduce you, they hesitated a little, and asked if you were from the
same establishment that I was. I said you were, and then they said they
had changed their mind and considered it necessary to start at once and
visit a sick relative in Siberia."

"Ah, me, you struck the summit! You struck the loftiest altitude of
stupidity that human effort has ever reached. You shall have a monu