no help for it. But what was a quartet without the
first tenor? There was no getting a substitute, but for all that they
would give Noetel a surprise. On the eve of the festal day the three
members of the club, armed with lanterns, met at the appointed time
before the house of their respected president, and after some clearing
of throats and twanging of tuning-forks the music began. A small crowd
collected in the street, and the windows in the vicinity were lined with
appreciative listeners. The Herr Burgomaster and his family also
appeared at the windows of their brightly illuminated sitting-room. The
first bars of the well-known song, "Silent Night," left much to be
desired, but the three voices bravely held on their way amid the
surrounding stillness, and in a few moments Herr Noetel went down into
the street and joined in the quartet. No sooner was the song finished
than he ran up stairs again, appeared at the open window, and in loud
clear tones thanked the club for their ovation. Seen on a public stage,
an old gentleman madly rushing up stairs to a window to thank himself
for serenading himself would cause a good deal of laughter.

ODD ITEMS FROM EVERYWHERE.

It was a very homely old lady in Scotland who remarked, as she gazed
into a looking-glass, that they didn't make as good mirrors to-day as
they did when she was a girl, because she thought modern looking-glasses
made her look so old.

* * * * *

It was said to be a Maine man who told an agent for a cyclopaedia that he
didn't want one, because he hadn't time to learn to ride one, and he
didn't wish to risk his neck trying it, anyhow.

* * * * *

A story is told of a grocer engaged in business in a London suburb, to
the effect that he once declined to attend a very popular concert even
though a free ticket was offered him. "Ye see," he said to the person
who gave him the ticket, "if I went I'd see so many people who owe me
money for groceries it would spoil my fun, and the sight o' me would
spoil theirs. I'll stay at home."

* * * * *

Here is a dog story, which you can believe or not as you please. A
gentleman remarked of a friend's dog that the two eyes of the animal
were remarkably different in size. "Yes," was the reply, "and he takes a
mean advantage of the fact whenever I have a stranger to dine with me.
He first gets fed at one side of my guest,