ays she, "because precious little has
ever happened to me. It's what's going to happen that I'm living for.
But, to take a fair start, we'll begin with dad. When they called him
Sport Blickens, they didn't stretch their imaginations. He was all
that--and not much else. All I know about maw is that she was one of
three, and that I was born in the back room of a Denver dance hall. I've
got a picture of her, wearing tights and a tin helmet, and dad says she
was a hummer. He ought to know; he was a pretty good judge.

"As I wasn't much over two days old when they had the funeral, I can't
add anything more about maw. And the history I could write of dad would
make a mighty slim book. Running roller skating rinks was the most
genteel business he ever got into, I guess. His regular profession was
faro. It's an unhealthy game, especially in those gold camps where they
shoot so impetuous. He got over the effects of two .38's dealt him by a
halfbreed Sioux; but when a real bad man from Taunton, Massachusetts,
opened up on him across the table with a .45, he just naturally got
discouraged. Good old dad! He meant well when he left me in Dobie and had
me adopted by Uncle Hen. Phemey, you needn't listen to this next
chapter."

Euphemia, she misses two jaw strokes in succession, rolls her eyes at
Maizie May for a second, and then strikes her reg'lar gait again.

"Excuse her getting excited like that," says Maizie; "but Uncle Hen--that
was her old man, of course--hasn't been planted long. He lasted until
three weeks ago. He was an awful good man, Uncle Hen was--to himself. He
had the worst case of ingrowing religion you ever saw. Why, he had a
thumb felon once, and when the doctor came to lance it Uncle Hen made him
wait until he could call in the minister, so it could be opened with
prayer.

"Sundays he made us go to church twice, and the rest of the day he talked
to us about our souls. Between times he ran the Palace Emporium; that is,
he and I and a half baked Swede by the name of Jens Torkil did. To look
at Jens you wouldn't have thought he could have been taught the
difference between a can of salmon and a patent corn planter; but say,
Uncle Hen had him trained to make short change and weigh his hand with
every piece of salt pork, almost as slick as he could do it himself.

"All I had to do was to tend the drygoods, candy, and drug counters, look
after the post-office window, keep the books, and manage the telephone
exchange.