u with his heels in the campfire.

What pleases me most, though, was the scientific duck I made in the last
round. We'd gone clear through the menu, and they was finishin' up their
cordials, when I spots the waiter comin' with a slip of paper on his tray
as long as a pianola roll.

"Hey, Pinckney," says I, "see what's comin' now!"

And when Pinckney reached around and discovers what it is, he digs down
for his roll like a true sport, never battin' an eyelash.

"You would ring in the fam'ly on me, would you," says I, "when I'm
showin' lady friends the sights?"

CHAPTER VIII

DOPING OUT AN ODD ONE

Say, notice any deep sea roll about my walk? No? Well, maybe you can get
the tarry perfume as I pass by? Funny you don't; for I've been a Vice
Commodore for most three weeks now. Yes, that's on the level--belay my
spinnaker taffrail if it ain't!

That's what I get for bein' one of the charter members of the Rockhurst
Yacht Club. You didn't, eh? Well, say, I'm one of the yachtiest yachters
that ever jibbed a gangway. Not that I do any sailin' exactly; but I
guess Sadie and me each paid good money for our shares of club stock, and
if that ain't as foolish an act as you can find in the nautical calendar,
then I'll eat the binnacle boom.

Course, this Vice Commodore stunt was sort of sprung on me; for I'd been
such an active member I didn't even know the bloomin' clubhouse was
finished until here the other day I gets this bulletin from the annual
meetin', along with the programme for the openin' exercises.

"Gee!" says I. "Vice Commodore! Say, there must be some mistake about
this."

"Not at all," says Sadie.

"Sure there is," says I. "Why, I hardly know one end of a boat from the
other; and besides I ain't got any clubby habits. They've been let in
wrong, that's all. I'll resign."

"You'll do nothing of the sort!" says Sadie. "When I took all that
trouble to have you win over that ridiculous Bronson-Smith!"

"Eh?" says I. "Been playin' the Mrs. Taft, have you? In that case, I
expect I'll have to stay with it. But, honest, you can look for a season
of perfectly punk Vice Commodorin'."

As it turns out, though, there ain't one in ten members that knows much
more about yachtin' than I do. Navigatin' porch rockers, orderin' all
hands up for fancy drinks, and conductin' bridge whist regattas was their
chief sea-goin' accomplishments; and when it come to makin' myself
useful, who was it, I'd like to know, that