_--But I say it is, miss! there is nothing on earth so
easy as to forget, if a person chooses to set about it. I'm sure I
have as much forgot your poor dear uncle as if he had never
existed--and I thought it my duty so to do; and let me tell you,
Lydia, these violent memories don't become a young woman.

_Sir Anthony._--Why, sure she won't pretend to remember what she's
ordered not! Ay, this comes of her reading!

_Lydia._--What crime, madam, have I committed to be treated thus?

_Mrs. Malaprop._--Now don't attempt to extirpate yourself from the
matter; you know I have proof controvertible of it. But tell me, will
you promise to do as you're bid? Will you take a husband of your
friends' choosing?

_Lydia._--Madam, I must tell you plainly that had I no preference for
any one else, the choice you have made would be my aversion.

_Mrs. Malaprop._--What business have you, miss, with preference and
aversion. They don't become a young woman; and you ought to know that
as both always wear off, 'tis safest in matrimony to begin with a
little aversion. I am sure I hated your poor dear uncle before
marriage as if he'd been a blackamoor; and yet, miss, you are sensible
what a wife I made? and when it pleased Heaven to release me from him,
'tis unknown what tears I shed! But suppose we were going to give you
another choice, will you promise us to give up this Beverley?

_Lydia._--Could I belie my thoughts so far as to give that promise, my
actions would certainly as far belie my words.

_Mrs. Malaprop._--Take yourself to your room. You are fit company for
nothing but your own ill-humours.

_Lydia._--Willingly, ma'am--I cannot change for the worse.
(_Exit_)

_Mrs. Malaprop._--There's a little intricate hussy for you!

_Sir Anthony._--It is not to be wondered at, ma'am: all this is the
natural consequence of teaching girls to read. Had I a thousand
daughters, by heaven I'd as soon have them taught the black art as
their alphabet!

_Mrs. Malaprop._--Nay, nay, Sir Anthony: you are an absolute
misanthropy.

_Sir Anthony._--In my way hither, Mrs. Malaprop, I observed your
niece's maid coming forth from a circulating library! She had a book
in each hand; they were half-bound volumes with marble covers! From
that moment I guessed how full of duty I should see her mistress!

_Mrs. Malaprop._--Those are vile places indeed!

_Sir Anthony._--Madam, a circulating library in a town is an evergreen
tree of diabolical knowledge