urn? Forsooth old Susie herself will say to me, "I shall never
see you again Master Desi." And till now I always thought I was angry
with Susie; but now I remark that it will be hard to leave her.

And my dear mother, the invalid, and grandmother, already so
grey-haired!

Thus the bitter strains swept onward along the strings of my soul, from
lifeless objects to living, from favorite animals to human
acquaintances, and then to those with whom we were bound soul to soul,
finally dragging one with them to the presence of the dead and buried. I
was sorely troubled by the thought that we were not allowed to enter,
even for one moment, that solitary house, round the door of which the
ivy was entwining anew. We might have whispered "God be with thee! I
have come to see thee!" I must leave the place without being able to say
to him a single word of love. And perhaps he would know without words.
Perhaps the only joy of that poor soul, who could not lie in a
consecrated chamber, who could not find the way to heaven because he had
not waited till the guardian angel came for him, was when he saw that
his sons love him still.

"Lorand, I cannot sleep, because I have not been able to take my leave
of that house beside the stream."

My brother sighed and turned in his bed.

My whole life long I have been a sound sleeper (what child is not?) but
never did it seem such a burden to rise as on the morning of our
departure. Two days later a strange child would be sleeping in that bed.
Once more we met together at breakfast, which we had to eat by
candle-light as the day had not yet dawned.

Dear mother often rose from her seat to kiss and embrace Lorand,
overwhelmed him with caresses, and made him promise to write much; if
anything happened to him, he must write and tell it at once, and must
always consider that bad news would afflict two hearts at home. She
only spoke to me to bid me drink my coffee warm, as the morning air
would be chilly.

Grandmother, too, concerned herself entirely with Lorand: they enquired
whether he had all he required for the journey, whether he had taken his
certificates with him--and a thousand other matters. I was rather
surprised than jealous at all this, for as a rule the youngest son gets
all the petting.

When our carriage drove up we took our travelling coats and said adieu
in turn to the household. Mother, leaning on Lorand's shoulder, came
with us to the gate whispering every kind of tender wo