rms and virtues, an Englishwoman,
she had a natural and ridiculous objection to the marriage of any person
whom she valued to any other person of foreign blood, excepting in the
case of British royalty, in whose foreign matches she felt unfeigned
delight--wherefore, Heaven, perchance, knoweth. But then Lilian was not
a woman of a logical turn of mind; she was inconsistent and amiable, as
good girls always are; and being strongly opposed to marriages of this
kind in general, determined to lay herself out, heart and soul, for
the prosperity of this particular arrangement. So she kissed Thecla
vivaciously, and went to mamma, and persuaded that estimable lady to a
visit to Thames Ditton in search of James. Mamma, having regard to the
missing Barndale, and being in some matronly alarm for him, consented,
and the two set out together.

Barndale in the meantime had gone to his own chambers, and had there
smoked many deliberative and lonely pipes. When he came near to the
enterprise he had so readily undertaken in his friend's behalf, he began
to feel signally nervous and uncomfortable about it. Of course he did
not for one moment think of resigning it; but he was puzzled, and in his
be-puzzlement retired within himself to concoct a plan of action. Having
definitely failed in this attempt, he resolved to go off at once without
preparation, and ask at the hotel for Miss Perzio, and then a round,
unvarnished tale deliver. This resolution formed, he started at once
and hurried, lest it should break by the way. Lilian and he were within
twenty yards of each other, neither of them knowing it, when his cab
rushed up to the door of the hotel.

Lilian knew the house-boat and its ways. One of the Amphibia of Ditton
conveyed the two ladies in a capacious boat to the aquatic residence of
the two friends. Lilian stepped lightly to the fore deck, and assisted
mamma from the boat.

'They are both away,' said Lilian, smiling and blushing. 'And the
careless creatures have left the doors open. We will wait for them and
give them a surprise.'

The two women, full of fluttering complacency, entered the living
room. Lilian went first, and fell upon her knees with a sudden shriek,
beholding the prone figure on the floor; the mother darted to her side,
saw and partly understood, whipped out a vinaigrette, seized a caraffe
of water, and applied those innocent restoratives at once. Neither
mother nor daughter had time to think of anything worse th