while."

Upon that he hurried off to rejoin her, and I turned my face once more
to the bar, and gave an order. I felt as if I had been through a
terrible ordeal. I was all in.

From now on I heard more often of the Fultons, for they were leading a
conspicuously gay life. Somebody had loaned them a house for six
weeks, and by all accounts Lucy was making money fly.

I saw her in the distance three times. Twice to bow and exchange
smiles. The other time she didn't see me. Seeing her meant two or
three days of torture; then her image and desirability would begin to
fade once more. But at least no other woman interested me in the least.

Presently they went to Aiken. A few days later I entrained for Palm
Beach; but found that I could not stand the place or the pace for long
periods of time, and fell into the habit of commuting with New York.
It was the war, I think, which made me so restless. It seemed to me
that the night had not been well slept, nor the most promising day well
begun until I had read the headlines in the papers. My hot wish to
fight as a soldier had cooled. More and more I wanted to be of
service, but in some way which seemed to me more imaginative and
intelligent. But I could not hit on the way. I must go to Paris, I
thought, then surely the inspiration of helpfulness would come. But I
could not very well go to Paris until the year of probation was up. If
Lucy still cared--well, it would be easy enough for me to care. I knew
now that her physical presence was sufficient to make me care--at any
given moment. "Oh," I thought, "I can't lose. Either I'll go to Paris
and be useful, or I'll begin a new life with the girl I love who loves
me."

Late in February Harry Colemain joined me at Palm Beach. He had
wintered at Aiken, and I had all the Aiken news from him. The place
had never been so full--people who usually went abroad, etc.,
etc.--some delightful new people, about all the old standbys. It was
not a sporting winter. Most of the men were feeling too poor for high
stakes. Would I believe it, the golf course was crowded all day? The
new hotel? It looked as if it was going to be a success. The clubs
were having the biggest year in their history. The golf club would be
able to reset the green with Bermuda grass. Some of the holes had come
through the summer splendidly. Some were better than they ever had
been, others were worse, etc., etc.

I asked him about this and about