east he would be if he were fixed
up a little. He has fine, dark eyes and a great shock of dark hair.
He and I are friends already. And so is the dog. The dog is a
peach! Excuse me, mother, but I just must use a little of the dear
old college slang somewhere, and your letters are the only
safety-valve, for I'm a schoolmarm now and must talk "good and
proper" all the time, you know.

The dog's name is Captain, and he looks the part. He has
constituted himself my bodyguard, and it's going to be very nice
having him. He's perfectly devoted already. He's a great, big,
fluffy fellow with keen, intelligent eyes, sensitive ears, and a
tail like a spreading plume. You'd love him, I know. He has a smile
like the morning sunshine.

And now I come to the only other member of the family, the boarder,
and I hesitate to approach the topic, because I have taken one of
my violent and naughty dislikes to him, and--awful thought--mother!
father! _he's a minister!_ Yes, he's a _Presbyterian minister_! I
know it will make you feel dreadfully, and I thought some of not
telling you, but my conscience hurt me so I had to. I just can't
_bear_ him, so there! Of course, I may get over it, but I don't see
how ever, for I can't think of anything that's more like him than
_soft soap_! Oh yes, there is one other word. Grandmother used to
use it about men she hadn't any use for, and that was "squash."
Mother, I can't help it, but he does seem something like a squash.
One of that crook-necked, yellow kind with warts all over it, and a
great, big, splurgy vine behind it to account for its being there
at all. Insipid and thready when it's cooked, you know, and has to
have a lot of salt and pepper and butter to make it go down at all.
Now I've told you the worst, and I'll try to describe him and see
what you think I'd better do about it. Oh, he isn't the regular
minister here, or missionary--I guess they call him. He's located
quite a distance off, and only comes once a month to preach here,
and, anyhow, _he's_ gone East now to take his wife to a hospital
for an operation, and won't be back for a couple of months,
perhaps, and this man isn't even taking his place. He's just here
for his health or for fun or something, I guess. He says he had a
large suburban church near New Yo