aved and ignorant land, its aspect became
more hideous. I need not explain to this assembly the ingredients and
formation of the British Refreshment sangwich?"

Universal laughter,--except from Sniff, who, as sangwich-cutter, shook
his head in a state of the utmost dejection as he stood with it agin the
wall.

"Well!" said Our Missis, with dilated nostrils. "Take a fresh, crisp,
long, crusty penny loaf made of the whitest and best flour. Cut it
longwise through the middle. Insert a fair and nicely fitting slice of
ham. Tie a smart piece of ribbon round the middle of the whole to bind
it together. Add at one end a neat wrapper of clean white paper by which
to hold it. And the universal French Refreshment sangwich busts on your
disgusted vision."

A cry of "Shame!" from all--except Sniff, which rubbed his stomach with a
soothing hand.

"I need not," said Our Missis, "explain to this assembly the usual
formation and fitting of the British Refreshment Room?"

No, no, and laughter. Sniff agin shaking his head in low spirits agin
the wall.

"Well," said Our Missis, "what would you say to a general decoration of
everythink, to hangings (sometimes elegant), to easy velvet furniture, to
abundance of little tables, to abundance of little seats, to brisk bright
waiters, to great convenience, to a pervading cleanliness and
tastefulness positively addressing the public, and making the Beast
thinking itself worth the pains?"

Contemptuous fury on the part of all the ladies. Mrs. Sniff looking as
if she wanted somebody to hold her, and everbody else looking as if
they'd rayther not.

"Three times," said Our Missis, working herself into a truly
terrimenjious state,--"three times did I see these shameful things, only
between the coast and Paris, and not counting either: at Hazebroucke, at
Arras, at Amiens. But worse remains. Tell me, what would you call a
person who should propose in England that there should be kept, say at
our own model Mugby Junction, pretty baskets, each holding an assorted
cold lunch and dessert for one, each at a certain fixed price, and each
within a passenger's power to take away, to empty in the carriage at
perfect leisure, and to return at another station fifty or a hundred
miles farther on?"

There was disagreement what such a person should be called. Whether
revolutionise, atheist, Bright (_I_ said him), or Un-English. Miss Piff
screeched her shrill opinion last, in the words: "A mal