w what he is drinking, then----But I'll
tell you how we will cheat him admirably; and it isn't very cruel
either, for merely to gratify the taste make-believes are as good as
realities. First, every one knows Taraxacum or dandelion; invalids know
crust-coffee, and many with indignation know burnt peas. Also Miss
Beecher, whose estimable cook-book you certainly must get, mentions that
ochra seeds or gumbo cannot be told from Java; an army correspondent has
since reported coffee made at the South from oker seeds, doubtless the
same; another found in use the sweet potato, roasted, and flavored with
coffee; while a friend has just described the most enticing beverage
made from chickory,--the root being stripped and dried under the stove.
This is said to be so rich that sometimes it has to be diluted with a
trifle of coffee. And still further, there is simple rye, which is
cheaper found than either. Jeff. Davis drank it for four years and wrote
all _her_ grand proclamations out of it. But probably the wholesomer
article is wheat coffee. I have lately prepared some by boiling a cup of
well-scorched wheat-bran in a pint of water; and although I don't quite
know how good coffee tastes, no doubt this was very like the true Java.
It poured clear and rich as wine. Now try this in full strength with
your spouse, being very witty when he drinks. And as the mornings pass,
oh, weaken it more and more. That is, cheat him pleasantly at first,
then worse and worse, till he is glad to take milk or pure water with
you. Conspiracies are usually contemptible; but this is one of the very
"best water," you see.

Perhaps we who never drink coffee can hardly understand the affection
its votaries have for it. To their minds, water seems to be given only
for steeping that delicious mud. Said one extravagant Madame Follet,
"When I see a coffee-pot, 'tis exactly the same as if I saw an angel
from heaven." And the Biloxi people, whom General Butler surprised of a
morning, were found to be in a very tragic state. One boy exclaimed,
"Oh, give me just a handful of coffee, master, an' I'll give you
'lasses, sugar, anything!" while a strong man ejaculated, "My God, we're
short of everything! I haven't tasted tea or coffee for four
months!"--as grievous as if he hadn't seen a human face for a year.
According to the "Herald" correspondent, the chief reason that the South
rejoices in peace is that "Now we'll be able to get some real
coffee!"--perhaps, he add