. It is but an
instance of the too common "bitter jokes" of Love, or rather Hymen. I only
wish, that if ever man try that experiment again, he may meet with
precisely the same success; and that if any man marries, determined to
_fall out_ with his bride, he may _fall out_ in that very way, and at the
very first opportunity.

The next little incident from married life which I mean to give you, will
show you the wonderful wit and ingenuity of the sex. Here the parties had
been much longer wedded. The poor woman had borne much. The husband
thought he had a second Griselda. The case of his tyranny was pretty well
known; indeed, the poor wife too often bore marks, that could not be
concealed, of the "purple light" of his love--his passion. The gentleman,
for such was, I regret to say, his grade of life, invited a number of
friends to dine with him, giving directions to his lady that the dinner
should be a good one. Behold the guests assembled--grace said--and hear
the dialogue:--Husband--"My dear, what is that dish before you?" Wife--"Oh,
my dear, it is a favourite dish of yours--stewed eels." Husband--"Then, my
dear, I will trouble you." After a pause, during which the husband
endeavours in vain to cut through what is before him--Then--Husband--"Why,
my dear, what _is_ this--it is quite hard, I cannot get through it."
Wife--"Yes, my dear, it is _very_ hard, and I rather wished you to know
_how_ hard--it is the horse whip you gave me for breakfast this morning."
I will not add a word to it. You, Eusebius, will not read a line more; you
are in antics of delight--you cannot keep yourself quiet for joy--you walk
up and down--you sit--you rise--you laugh--you roar out. Oh! this is
better than the "taming of a shrew." And do you think "a brute of a
husband" is so easily tamed? The lion was a gentle beast, and made himself
submissive to sweet Una; but the brute of a husband, he is indeed a very
hideous and untameable wild-fowl. Poor, good, loving woman is happily
content at some thing far under perfection. In a lower grade of life, good
wife once told me, that she had had an excellent husband, for that he had
never kicked her but twice. On enquiry, I found he died young.--My dear
Eusebius, yours ever, and as ever,

------

* * * * *

MARSTON; OR, THE MEMOIRS OF A STATESMAN.

PART V.

"Have I not in my time heard lions ro