ume, and
the tombs of _Edgardo's_ fathers under a marble colonnade--to give the
necessary local colour.

Good house on Saturday for _Robert the Devil_,--not _our_ "ROBERT" the
Waiter. But Signor LAGO must not be satisfied with things as they are.

* * * * *

PROGRESS--FIN DE SIECLE!

1891. Vessels laid up by the Shipping Federation.

1892. The Railway Union decide to stop all traffic until labour is
cheaper.

1893. The United Cooperative Stores secure monopoly of Trade, and then
close until better times.

1894. Army and Navy disbanded, join the Burglar Association, of which
the Police are now members.

1895. Publication of newspapers throughout the civilised world,
suspended.

1896. Universal redistribution of land, and personal property.

1897. Conversion of every public building on the Four Quarters of the
Globe into a refuge for the indigent.

1898. Strike of the Butchers, the Bakers and the Candlestick-makers.

1899. Strike of the Doctors, and the Undertakers--_Fin de Siecle!_

1900. Strike of the Lawyers--_Fin du Monde!_

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE SPREAD OF CULTURE DOWNWARDS.

_Jones_ (_to Mrs. J._). "ESKIR VOO NE PONXAY PAH KER LA NOOVELLE
FUM-DE-SHOMB AYT _EXTRARDINAIRMONG JOLEE_?"

_Mrs. J._ (_who is over-considerate of her Servants_). "WEE--MAIS IL
NE FO PAH PARLY FRONXAY DEVONG LEY DOMESTEEK; CE N'AY PAH _POLEE_, VOO
SAVVY!"

_The New Scotch Housemaid._ "OH, MONSIEUR, QUANT A CA, CE N'EST PAS LA
PEINE DE VOUS GENER DEVANT MOI. JE COMPRENDS ASSEZ BIEN LE FRANCAIS!"]

* * * * *

TIPPERARY JUNCTION.

JOHN MORLEY _SINGS_:--

AIR--"_TIPPERARY_."

Oh, politics puzzle, and partisans vary,
In holiday autumn on Albion's shore;
But och! there's good business in New Tipperary,
So to take a look round I will take a run o'er.
Prince ARTHUR looks proud, but his policy's poor--
No doubt, he'd be happy to show me the door;
But the Paddies will welcome an English grandee--
They've had SHAW-LEFEVRE, they'd rather have me!
So I laugh at all fears of things going contrairey
(She loves me, does ERIN, the shamrock-gowned fairy),
I'm sure there's good business in New Tipperary!
In New Tipperary!

ARTHUR BALFOUR _SINGS_:--

AIR--"_OFF TO PHILADELPHIA_."

Faith! JOHN MORLEY thinks he's leary,
And he's off to Tipperary;
My policy he thinks he'll be