man of the house would be
to delay the repair just so much longer? How are our contrary-minded
friends to be met if we cannot pretend we do not want what we do want
in order to get their cooperation and consent?

No one could deliberately plan to be a hypocrite understanding what a
hypocrite really is. A hypocrite is a sham--a sham has nothing solid to
stand on. No one really respects a sham, and the most intelligent, the
most tactful hypocrite that ever lived is nothing but a sham,--_false_
and a sham!

Beside, no one can manage another by the process of sham and hypocrisy
without sooner or later being found out, and when he is found out, all
his power is gone.

The trouble with the contrary-minded is they have an established habit
of resistance. Sometimes the habit is entirely inherited, and has never
been seen or acknowledged. Sometimes it has an inherited foundation,
with a cultivated superstructure.

Either way it is a problem for those who have to deal with it,--until
they understand. The "contrary method" does not solve the problem; it
is only a makeshift; it never does any real work, or accomplishes any
real end. It is not even lastingly intelligent.

The first necessity in dealing truly with these people is _not to be
afraid of their resistances._ The second necessity, which is so near
the first that the two really belong side by side, is _never to meet
their resistances with resistances of our own._

If we combat another man's resistance, it only increases his tension.
No matter how wrong he may be, and how right we are, meeting resistance
with resistance only breeds trouble. Two minds can act and react upon
one another in that way until they come to a lock which not only makes
lasting enemies of those who should have been and could be always
friends, but the contention locks up strain in each man's brain which
can never be removed without pain, and a new awakening to the common
sense of human intercourse.

If we want a friend to read a book, to go a journey, or to do something
which is more important for his own good than either, and we know that
to suggest our desire would be to rouse his resistance, the only way is
to catch him in the best mood we can, say what we have to say, give our
own preference, and at the same time feel and express a willingness to
be refused. Every man is a free agent, and we have no right not to
respect his freedom, even if he uses that freedom to stand in his own
light o