ed to understand the
process and to be moderately grateful for it.

If she had had a more sensitive temperament she would have appreciated
it all the more keenly; but if she had had a more sensitive temperament
she would not have been blatant about her shock.

CHAPTER XXI

_Contrariness_

I KNOW a woman who says that if she wants to get her father's consent
to anything, she not only appears not to care whether he consents or
not, but pretends that her wishes are exactly opposite to what they
really are. She says it never fails; the decision has always been made
in opposition to her expressed desires, and according to her real
wishes. In other words, she has learned how to manage her father.

This example is not unique. Many of us see friends managing other
friends in that same way. The only thing which can interfere with such
astute management is the difficulty that a man may have in concealing
his own will in order to accomplish what he desires. Wilfulness is such
an impulsive quantity that it will rush ahead in spite of us and spoil
everything when we feel that there is danger of our not getting our own
way. Or, if we have succeeded in getting our own way by what might be
called the "contrary method," we may be led into an expression of
satisfaction which will throw light on the falseness of our previous
attitude and destroy the confidence of the friend whom we were
tactfully influencing.

To work the "contrary method" to perfection requires a careful control
up to the finish and beyond it. In order never to be found out, we have
to be so consistent in our behavior that we gradually get trained into
nothing but a common every-day hypocrite, and the process which goes on
behind hypocrisy must necessarily be a process of decay. Beside that,
the keenest hypocrite that ever lived can only deceive others up to a
certain limit.

But what is one to do when a friend can only be reached by the
"contrary method"? What is one to do when if, for instance, you want a
friend to read a book, you know that the way to prevent his reading it
is to mention your desire? If you want a friend to see a play and in a
forgetful mood mention the fact that you feel sure the play would
delight him, you know as soon as the words are out of your mouth you
have put the chance of his seeing the play entirely out of the
question? What is one to do when something needs mending in the house,
and you know that to mention the need to the