inisters to come and work with me. The duke
did not doubt but that M. de Choiseul would refuse to pay his _devoirs_
to me, and that his resistance would lead to his fall. But for my
presentation, it was necessary not only that the king should consent,
for of that I was certain, but that he should desire it, and his desire
could not be depended on.

Louis XV was excessively timid: with an air which appeared of a
dreadnaught quality, he was fearful at heart. The clamors of Versailles
kept him in alarm; and he kept at his own court and at foreign courts
secret agents, whose only care was to report to him the complaints
of the people and the sarcasms and satires of society. The king was
attached to them; and when the force of circumstances compelled him to
abandon them, he still supported them clandestinely with all his power.
A proof of what I advance may be known as regards the chevalier or
chevaliere d'Eon, I know not which. But these secret agents were,
unknown to the king, all devoted to the parliaments, and consequently
inimical to courtiers, favorites, and especially mistresses. God knows
how they disposed of us! By these unpropitious channels the king had
learnt all the hatred which was borne to madame de Pompadour. He was
afraid of exciting the discontent of the people by announcing another
mistress, and was no less intimidated at the severity of madame Louise,
and the ill-humor of his other children. He loved his pleasure much, but
his ease more.

Comte Jean, who was restrained by no considerations, advised me to
overleap all difficulty, by asking the king myself for the favor which
I coveted. His advice seemed rational, and I was besides urged on to do
so. Each day brought to me impertinences said of me by the noble ladies
of the chateau. I learnt that they boasted that I should never set foot
in the great apartments, but should remain the obscure mistress of the
king. This made me impatient, and by degrees deprived me of my natural
gaiety.

One day when the king was with me, he perceived my want of spirits.

"What ails you?" said be, with the greatest solicitude.

"What ails me!" replied I, "I wish I were dead, rather than see myself
the butt of all the scandal of the foul-mouthed gossips of your court."

The king, suspecting the confidence I was about to repose in him, was
sorry he had asked for it, and was silent. He began to play a tattoo
with his fingers on the chimney-piece. At this moment mademoisell