etting forth the advancement of women of high
nature and fruitful industry even as your Majesty is: the one a
skilful physician, the other a sister devoted to good works. I have
also stole from a book of idle wanton tales two of the most damnable
foolishnesses in the world, in the one of which a woman goeth in man's
attire and maketh impudent love to her swain, who pleaseth the
groundlings by overthrowing a wrestler; whilst, in the other, one of
the same kidney sheweth her wit by saying endless naughtinesses to a
gentleman as lewd as herself. I have writ these to save my friends
from penury, yet shewing my scorn for such follies and for them that
praise them by calling the one As You Like It, meaning that it is not
as _I_ like it, and the other Much Ado About Nothing, as it truly is.
And now these two filthy pieces drive their nobler fellows from the
stage, where indeed I cannot have my lady physician presented at all,
she being too honest a woman for the taste of the town. Wherefore I
humbly beg your Majesty to give order that a theatre be endowed out of
the public revenue for the playing of those pieces of mine which no
merchant will touch, seeing that his gain is so much greater with the
worse than with the better. Thereby you shall also encourage other
men to undertake the writing of plays who do now despise it and leave
it wholly to those whose counsels will work little good to your realm.
For this writing of plays is a great matter, forming as it does the
minds and affections of men in such sort that whatsoever they see done
in show on the stage, they will presently be doing in earnest in the
world, which is but a larger stage. Of late, as you know, the Church
taught the people by means of plays; but the people flocked only to
such as were full of superstitious miracles and bloody martyrdoms; and
so the Church, which also was just then brought into straits by the
policy of your royal father, did abandon and discountenance the art of
playing; and thus it fell into the hands of poor players and greedy
merchants that had their pockets to look to and not the greatness of
this your kingdom. Therefore now must your Majesty take up that good
work that your Church hath abandoned, and restore the art of playing
to its former use and dignity.

ELIZABETH. Master Shakespear: I will speak of this matter to the
Lord Treasurer.

SHAKESPEAR. Then am I undone, madam; for there was never yet a Lord
Treasurer that could