d fault with me. I need learn no more of that. Love
would have it, and so would I, that I should be sensible and modest and
kind and approachable to all for the sake of one I love. Shall I love
all men, then, for the sake of one? I should be pleasant to every one,
but Love does not bid me be the true friend of every one. Love's lessons
are only good. It is not without significance that I am called by the
name of Soredamors. [214] I am destined to love and be loved in turn,
and I intend to prove it by my name, if I can find the explanation
there. There is some significance in the fact that the first part of
my name is of golden colour; for what is golden is the best. For this
reason I highly esteem my name, because it begins with that colour with
which the purest gold harmonises. And the end of the name calls Love to
my mind; for whoever calls me by my right name always refreshes me with
love. And one half gilds the other with a bright coat of yellow gold;
for Soredamors has the meaning of 'one gilded over with Love.' Love has
highly honoured me in gilding me over with himself. A gilding of
real gold is not so fine as that which makes me radiant. And I shall
henceforth do my best to be his gilding, and shall never again complain
of it. Now I love and ever more shall love. Whom? Truly, that is a fine
question! Him whom Love bids me love, for no other shall ever have
my love. What will he care in his ignorance, unless I tell him of it
myself? What shall I do, if I do not make to him my prayer? Whoever
desires anything ought to ask for it and make request. What? Shall I
beseech him, then? Nay. Why? Did ever such a thing come about that a
woman should be so forward as to make love to any man; unless she were
clean beside herself. I should be mad beyond question if I uttered
anything for which I might be reproached. If he should know the truth
through word of mine I think he would hold me in slight esteem, and
would often reproach me with having solicited his love. May love never
be so base that I should be the first to prefer a request which would
lower me in his eyes! Alas, God! How will he ever know the truth, since
I shall not tell him of it? As yet I have very little cause to complain.
I will wait until his attention is aroused, if ever it is to be aroused.
He will surely guess the truth, I think, if ever he has had commerce
with Love, or has heard of it by word of mouth. Heard of it? That is a
foolish thing to say. Love i