t was the less probable that she would accept me, as I had no
outward advantages to offer. I nevertheless showed greater attention,
both to mother and daughter, than I had done hitherto, but still
undecided in my mind.

"At this time I wrote to my sister at Saalfeld; the contents of this
letter were sad enough; it was to this effect, that on account of some
small debts, merely caused by the difficulty of raising money, I should
be obliged to renounce altogether the dear friend of that place, who
nevertheless, I honoured profoundly. I was not in a position to follow
the bent of my affections.

"If I was to attempt to borrow money in Saalfeld, my father would
certainly prevent it, as I had clearly remarked, that he had always
endeavoured to dissuade me from my plans, and admonished me not to run
counter to Providence by over haste. I passed many sorrowful hours
before I received an answer from Saalfeld, and still more when I did
receive it, and found that this separation was finally settled. Very
serious reflections upon many similar cases tranquillised me by
degrees, although my high esteem for that worthy young person was
unalterable.

"But so much the more I felt my very insignificant position; and, thus
truly humiliated, I reproached myself continually. I asked myself
whether I was to call upon this dutiful and virtuous daughter to give
so much money for me, of which she certainly had as little thought as
her mother; for it was undoubtedly not with this view that she had
shown me so many courtesies. She had long considered me as having a
decided inclination for some one; she often reminded me in a friendly
way about Halle, and how I had often praised openly and with such great
feeling the incomparable Dr. Baumgarten; and just because I had shown
so much diffidence and lively feeling with regard to Halle, she had
thought favourably of me, and had assumed that I had a settled
engagement there. How was I now all at once to convince her that it was
otherwise, without giving an open field for divers detrimental thoughts
and observations on myself? I alone know how entirely depressed was my
spirit at this time; how I spent my days and nights restless and
dejected, till at last I learnt to bow myself to the universal law of
God's government.

"I more than once perplexed myself again with strong doubts whether I
was important enough for Divine Providence to occupy Himself with me,
and whether all my anxieties were not th