Don Luis himself was unable to recognize and
distinguish between them, believing to be the love of God not only what
was in truth the love of God, but also self-love. He recalled to mind,
for instance, the examples of many saints who had resisted greater
temptations than his, and he did not wish to be less than they. And he
recalled to mind, above all, the notable firmness of St. Chrysostom, who
was able to disregard the caresses of a tender and good mother, and her
tears and gentle entreaties, and all the eloquent and touching words she
spoke to him, in the very room where he was born, to the end that he
might not abandon her and become a priest. And, after reflecting on
this, Don Luis could not tolerate in himself the weakness of being
unable to scorn the entreaties of a woman who was a stranger to him,
whom he had known for so short a time, and of still wavering between his
duty and the attractions of one who was, perhaps, after all, rather than
enamored of him, merely a coquette.

Don Luis then reflected on the supreme elevation of the sacerdotal
dignity to which he was called, regarding it in his thoughts as superior
to all the dignities and unsatisfying honors of the world; since it was
founded, neither by any mortal man, nor by the caprice of the variable
and servile populace, nor by the irruption or invasion of barbarians,
nor by the violence of rebellious armies urged on by greed, nor by angel
nor archangel, nor by any created power, but by the Paraclete himself.
How, for a motive so unworthy, for a mere woman, for a tear or two,
feigned, perhaps, scorn that august dignity, that authority that was not
conceded by God even to the archangels nearest to his throne? How
should he descend to be confounded among the obscure people, and become
one of the flock--he who had dreamed of being the shepherd, tying and
untying on earth what God should tie and untie in heaven, pardoning
sins, regenerating the people by water and by the spirit, teaching them
in the name of an infallible authority, pronouncing judgments that
should be ratified and confirmed by the Lord of the heavens--he, the
instructor and the minister in tremendous mysteries inscrutable by human
reason, calling down from heaven, not, like Elias, the flame that
consumes the victim, but the Holy Spirit, the Word made flesh, the river
of grace that purifies hearts and makes them clean like unalloyed gold?

When Don Luis let his mind dwell on these thoughts, his