The Project Gutenberg EBook of See?, by Edward G. Robles

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Title: See?

Author: Edward G. Robles

Illustrator: William Ashman

Release Date: August 3, 2009 [EBook #29601]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

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[Illustration: Illustrated by ASHMAN]

_SEE?_

By EDWARD G. ROBLES, JR.

_Seeing things? Don't go to an analyst--see
the Commission--if it doesn't find you first!_

Well, there was this song a few years back. You know the one. Phil
Harris singing about a thing that you couldn't get rid of, no matter
what you did, a thing so repulsive it made you a social outcast. Never
thought I'd see one, though. Dirty Pete found it.

Don't rush me. I'll tell you about it.

We're hobos, understand? Now a hobo is a different breed of cat than
you think. Oh, people are getting educated to the idea that a hobo will
work and move on, whereas a tramp will mooch and move on, and a bum will
mooch and hang around, but you still find folks who are ignorant enough
to call us bums.

We're aristocrats, yes sir. If it wasn't for us, you wouldn't enjoy half
the little luxuries you do. Oh, don't believe me--talk to your experts.
They know that, without the migratory worker, most of the crops wouldn't
get harvested. And, if I talk highfalutin' once in a while, don't blame
me. Associating with the Professor improves any man's vocabulary, in
spite of themselves.

* * * * *

There was the four of us, see? We'd been kicking around together for
longer than I care to think about. There was the Professor and Dirty
Pete and Sacks and Eddie. I'm Eddie. Nicknames are funny things. Take
the Professor--he was a real professor once, until he began hitting the
bottle. Well, he lost his job, his home, his family, and his rep.

One morning, he wakes up on Skid Row without a nickel in his jeans and
the great-granddaddy of all hangovers. He comes to a decision. Either he
could make a man out of hisself, or he could die. Right then, dying
looked like the easies