5, 1901_.

Patience ceased to be a virtue. Tolerance would be a crime against
myself. I am determined to do as I please in future. If it upsets the
King's, Prince George's and the rest's delicate digestion, so much the
better.

The newspapers are hinting about my troubles with Prince George and the
King. When I go driving or appear at the theatre, the public shows its
sympathy in many ways. Sometimes I am acclaimed to the echo.

Mamma wrote me a tearful letter. She spent six hours in prayers for
"sinful Louise" and sends me the fruits of her meditations: six pages of
close script, advising me how to regain the King's and Prince George's
favor.

Never before have I failed in outward respect to my mother, but this
time I wrote to her: "Pray attend to your own affairs. Don't meddle in
mine which you are entirely unable to understand."

* * * * *

DRESDEN, _November 6, 1901_.

Bernhardt was sent to Sonnenstein. Whether he became insane at Nossen,
or whether it is the family's intention to drive him mad among the
madmen of Sonnenstein, I don't know, but it behooves me to be careful.

Sonnenstein has accommodation for both sexes.

* * * * *

LOSCHWITZ, _November 15, 1901_.

I sent a letter to the King, asking him to have Loschwitz Castle
prepared for my reception. His Majesty didn't deign to answer, but
Prince George commanded me in writing to stay at Dresden "under his
watchful eye."

I immediately proceeded to his apartments in my morning undress, without
hat, gloves or wrap. As I rushed through the anteroom, Adjutant von
Metsch begged me with up-lifted hands not to force His Royal Highness's
door, Prince George being too ill to receive me, etc., etc. I paid no
attention to his mournful whinings. At that moment I had courage enough
to stock a regiment.

"So you won't allow me to go to Loschwitz," I addressed George as I
suddenly bobbed up at the side of his desk.

My father-in-law looked at me as if I were a spook, emerged from a
locked closet.

"Who let you in?" he managed to say after a while.

"I didn't come here to answer questions," I replied. "I came to announce
that if you don't let me go to Loschwitz, there will be a scandal that
will resound all over Christendom and make you impossible in your own
capital."

"Why do you want to leave Dresden?" he insisted.

"Because I want to be alone. Because I am tired of hateful faces.