but only have
asked for them for my father and mother and all Christian souls, and
have offered mine own communion with intention thereto. Ay, and many a
time--dare I confess it?--I have offered the same with that intent, if
he should be to God commanded [dead]--knowing that God knew, and humbly
trusting in His mercy if I did ill. But for the worship of our Lady,
that is passing strange, specially to me that am religious woman. For
we were always taught what a blessing it was that we had a woman to whom
we might carry our griefs and sorrows, seeing God is a man, and not so
like to enter into a woman's feelings. But these priests say--I am
almost afraid to write it--this is dishonouring Christ who died for us,
and who therefore must needs be full of tenderness for them for whom He
died, and cannot need man nor woman--not even His own mother--to stand
betwixt them and Him. O my Lord, have I been all these years
dishonouring Thee, and setting up another, even though it be Thy blessed
mother, between Thee and me? Yet surely He regardeth her honour full
diligently! Said He not to Saint John, "Behold thy mother?"--and doth
not that Apostle represent the whole Church, who are thereby commanded
to regard her, each righteous man, as his own very mother? [This is the
teaching of the Church of Rome.] I remember the blessed Hermit of
Hampole scarcely makes mention of her: it is all Christ in his book.
And if it be so--of which Joan ensures me--in the Word of God, whereof
she hath read books that I have missed--verily, I know not what to
think.

Lord, Thou wist what is error! Save me therefrom. Thou wist what is
truth: guide me therein!

It would seem that I have erred in offering my communions at all. For
if to eat Christ's Body be only to have mind of Him--and this is
according to His own word, "_Hoc facite in meam commemorationem_"--how
then can there be at all any offering of sacrifice in the holy mass?
Joan says that Saint Paul's Epistle to the Hebrews saith that we be
hallowed by the oblation of the body of Jesus Christ once, and that
where remission is, there is no more oblation for sin. Truly we have
need to pray, Lord, guide us into Thy truth! and yet more, Lord, keep us
therein! I must think hereon. In sooth, this I do, and then up rises
some great barrier to the new doctrine, which I lay before Joan: and as
quickly as the sun can break forth and melt a spoonful of snow, does she
clear all away with some w