iple is to dodge all humbugs and swindles,
which make travelling so expensive generally. We have gained much
experience already, and hope to gain more. One of my friends is a
doctor from Philadelphia, Doctor Snakeroot, and the other is
Senator Jones from Massachusetts. Neither the Doctor nor the Senator
understands a word of any language but the American. That is the
reason why I became acquainted with them.

"First as to the Doctor, I picked him up at Dunkirk. It was in a cafe.
I was getting my modest breakfast when I saw him come in. He sat down
and boldly asked for coffee. After the usual delay the garcon brought
him a small cup filled with what looked like ink. On the waiter was a
cup of _eau de vie_, and a little plate containing several enormous
lumps of loaf-sugar. Never shall I forget the Doctor's face of
amazement. He looked at each article in succession. What was the ink
for? what the brandy? what the sugar? He did not know that the two
first when mixed makes the best drink in the world, and that the last
is intended for the pocket of the guest by force of a custom dear to
every Frenchman. To make a long story short, I explained to him the
mysteries of French coffee, and we became sworn friends.

"My meeting with the Senator was under slightly different
circumstances. It was early in the morning. It was chilly. I was
walking briskly out of town. Suddenly I turned a corner and came upon
a crowd. They surrounded a tall man. He was an American, and appeared
to be insane. First he made gestures like a man hewing or chopping.
Then he drew his hand across his throat. Then he staggered forward and
pretended to fall. Then he groaned heavily. After which he raised
himself up and looked at the crowd with an air of mild inquiry. They
did not laugh. They did not even smile. They listened respectfully,
for they knew that the strange gentleman wished to express something.
On the whole, I think if I hadn't come up that the Senator would have
been arrested by a stiff gendarme who was just then coming along the
street. As it was, I arrived just in time to learn that he was anxious
to see the French mode of killing cattle, and was trying to find his way
to the abattoirs. The Senator is a fine man, but eminently practical. He
used to think the French language an accomplishment only. He has
changed his mind since his arrival here. He has one little
peculiarity, and that is, to bawl broken English at the top of his
voice when he