ous wreck as this?
No more sits Peace upon thy verdant slopes!
_Subscriptions!_ Ah, that magical sweet sound
Appeals to all, or _should_ appeal. More! More!
Suffering demands still _more_! Charity's ground
_Punch_ now must hold thy flower-enamelled shore,
O Hyacinthine Isle! O purple Zante!
"_Isola d'oro! Fior di Levante!_"

* * * * *

NEW NAME FOR IT. (_By a non-believer in the
much-talked-of--and talking--"League._"),--Imperial
_Fad_-oration!

* * * * *

[Illustration: A LAMENT.

_Little Simpkins._ "NEARLY ALL OUR BEST MEN ARE DEAD! CARLYLE,
TENNYSON, BROWNING, GEORGE ELIOT!----I'M NOT FEELING VERY WELL
MYSELF!"]

* * * * *

"IN THE KEY OF RUTHENE."

[The most gorgeous red yet discovered has lately been produced
from the rare metal ruethenium.]

Who'll sell me a second-hand lyre and a plectrum,
Or (since it's the fashion) a mandoline?
_Con amore_ I'd sing the new shade of the spectrum--
No spook, though it haunts me--its name is Ruthene.

Nay, don't be alarmed, for I'm no supersubtle
Decadent bard with an eye full of green;
I merely (to copy the late _Captain Cuttle_)
Am "making a note" in the key of Ruthene.

Well, _R_'s a red letter, you see its ray glow forth--
Look in your "dic" if you doubt what I mean;
Red, rufous, rouge, ruddy, rose, russet, and so forth,
Have all rolling _r_'s like resplendent Ruthene.

More "clamant" than carmine, vermilion, crimson,
Costlier than diamond or ultramarine--
A deuce of a theme to chant lyrics or hymns on,
Or rummage for orotund "rot," is Ruthene.

Orange-hued are the Odalisque's henna-dyed fingers,
English girls' lips are encarnadine;
A rubicund flame round the toper's nose lingers--
But I'm blest if they rival the blush of Ruthene.

Pink huntsman, gules ensign, deep flush of the sunset,
Cardinal's scarlet, "red" gold have I seen,
With red ruin, red rhubarb, red herring--but none set
My iris afire as does red-hot Ruthene.

The quest, though, is simpler of Roc's egg or Sangreal,
Easier to fashion a flying machine,
Than for _my_ Muse to fake up (forgive Cockney slang) real
Readable rhymes in praise of Ruthene.

* * * * *

THE SCOTTISH TREVELYANDERER.

(_Mr. Hozier's Version._)

[Mr. H