* * * * *

THE DEARTH OF GENIUSES.

(_Dedicated to the Right Hon. A. J. Balfour._)

Cried Genius A. to Genius B., "Let's summon Genius C.,
And, to make a _partie carree_, we will call in Genius D."
And when they were assembled these solemn four sat down,
And they all read Mr. BALFOUR'S speech, and read it with a frown.

Said Genius A., "No Geniuses? By Heaven, he's talking rot!"
And Genius B. replied thereto, "I can't say he is not."
And C. and D., the poets, who warble like the birds,
Agreed with Genius A. and B. in scorning BALFOUR'S words.

"A Genius _may_ arise, he says; that's coming it too strong;
Why, dash it, I can count up three in prose and eke in song!"
Thus A. began; the three replied, "You're not an egoist;
You quite forgot to add yourself, and so complete the list."

"We'll prove it on the spot," declared dramatic Genius A.
"You three shall sit as judges, and I will read my play.
'Tis a drama of the passions, all strictly based on facts,
And they break the Decalogue to bits in five exhaustive Acts."

"That _might_ be good," said B.; "but _I_'ve a little thing, I guess,
Which ought to take precedence, a novel in MS.;
With characters so deftly drawn in all their changing scenes,
That THACKERAY and DICKENS must be knocked to smithereens."

But C. broke in; his hair was long, his eyes were very wild,
He was in truth a strangely-garbed and most poetic child;
Said he, "Your plays and novels may all be very well,
But I've an epic poem here on _Happiness in Hell_."

And D., the pretty lyricist, he hummed and then he hawed,
"I've half a hundred sonnets here to MABEL, MADGE, and MAUD.
I'll read them first, and then I'll read"--the other three grew pale--
"My last new book, _The Musings of a Town-bred Nightingale_."

* * * * *
And so they sat, and talked and talked, the argument waxed hot,
For each one was a Genius born, and none would budge a jot.
And till they settle who begins, and which of them shall yield,
I fear the "dearth of Geniuses"--see speech--must hold the field.

* * * * *

RATHER A LONG SHOT.--How to "attempt the life of the PREMIER."
Discharge a revolver in the neighbourhood of Downing Street, and
listen to the report in the evening papers.

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Transcriber's note:

Missing