you
had an inspection of arms this morning?"

"No, General," timidly replied the Captain, "I have not."

"Have you held an inspection of your company at any time since the
battle of Arkansas Post, sir?" sharply asked the General.

"No, sir; the weather has been so unpleasant, and I thought I would
let my men rest awhile," hesitatingly replied the Captain, already
nervous, through fear, that something disagreeable was about to turn
up.

"You thought you'd let them rest awhile? Indeed! The d----l you did!
Who pays you, sir, for permitting your men to lay and rot in idleness,
while such important duties remain unattended to? What kind of
condition are your arms in, now, to defend this boat, or even the
lives of your own men, in case we should be attacked by the enemy this
moment? What the d----l are you in the service for, if you thus
neglect your most important duty?" fairly yelled the old General. And
then, starting menacingly toward the quaking captain, said he,
imperatively:

"Mount, sir, on that roof, this moment, and call your men instantly
into line, that I may examine their arms."

"And you," resumed he, turning to the lieutenants, who commanded the
other companies, "are fully as delinquent as the captain. Sirs! I must
see your men in line within ten minutes."

It is scarcely necessary to state that the officers in question made
the best of their time in drumming up their men, whom they found
scattered in all parts of the boat. Finally, however, the companies
referred to were duly paraded on the "hurricane," and an abridged form
of inspection was gone through with. The General, finding their arms
in bad condition, very naturally inflicted some severe talk,
threatening condign punishment in case such neglect should be
repeated.

But during the time in which one of these companies was falling in,
which operation was not executed with that degree of promptness, on
the part of the rank and file, satisfactory to the lieutenant
commanding, that officer called out, in a most imploring strain, "Fall
in, gentlemen! Fall in, lively, gentlemen!" That application of the
word "gentlemen" fell upon the ear of General Smith, who, turning
quickly around, hastily inquired:

"Are you the lieutenant in command of that company, sir?" addressing
the individual who had given the command in such a polite manner.

"Yes, sir," replied the trembling subaltern.

"Then, who the d----l are you calling gentlemen?" cried the Gener