s;
"A million Northern boys I'll get
To bring me home my stars."

And on his mare, stout Betsey Jane,
To Northside town he flew;
The dogs they barked, the bells did ring,
And countless bugles blew.
"My stolen stars!" cried Uncle Sam,
"My stolen stars!" cried he,
"A million soldiers I must have
To bring them back to me."

"Dry up your tears, good Uncle Sam;
Dry up!" said Puritan,
"We'll bring you home your stolen stars,
Or perish every man!"
And at the words a million rose,
All ready for the fray;
And columns formed, like rivers deep,
And Southward marched away.

* * * * *

And still old Uncle Samuel
Sits by his fireside near,
Smokin' of his kinnikinnick
And drinkin' lager-beer;
While there's a tremble in the earth,
A gleaming of the sky,
And the rivers stop to listen
As the million marches by.

DEBATE

between Rev. Ebenezer SLABSIDES and Honorable Felix GARROTTE,

Delivered Before General ROSECRANS and the Society of the Toki.

The subject of discussion was--"WHO DESERVED THE GREATEST
PRAISE: MR. COLUMBUS, FOR DISCOVERING AMERICA, OR MR.
WASHINGTON, FOR DEFENDING IT AFTER IT WAS DISCOVERED?" The
two characters are personated by an instantaneous change of
feature.

[The Honorable FELIX GARROTTE arose, and said:]

Mr. President, and Gentlemen of this Lyceum:

I suppose the whole country is aware that I take sides with Mr.
Kerlumbus, and I hope, Mr. President, that I may be allowed to go a
leetle into detail in regard to the history of my hero. I find, Mr.
President, after a deal of research, that Mr. Kerlumbus was born in
the year 1492, at Rome, a small town situated on the banks of the
Nile, a small creek that takes its rise in the Alps, and flows in a
south-westerly direction, and empties into the Gulf of Mexico.

Mr. Kerlumbus's parents were poor; his father was a basket-maker, and,
being in such low circumstances, was unable to give his only son that
education which his talents and genius demanded. He therefore bound
him out to a shepherd, who sot him to watchin' swine on the banks of
the Nile; and it was thar, sir, by a cornstalk and rush-light fire, a
readin' the history of Robinson Crusoe, that first inspired in his
youthful breast the seeds of sympathy and ambition. Sympathy for what?
Why, sir, to