oal in the kingdom!"

Mr Tippet paused to observe the effect of this statement. Willie
having never heard of such things before, and having a thoughtful and
speculative as well as waggish turn of mind, listened with open eyes and
mouth and earnest attention, so Mr Tippet went on:

"The frightful consequences of such a state of things you may conceive,
or rather they are utterly inconceivable. Owing to the foundations of
the earth having been cut away, it is more than probable that the
present coal districts of the United Kingdom will collapse, the ocean
will rush in, and several of our largest counties will become salt-water
lakes. Besides this, coal being the grand source of our national
wealth, its sudden failure will entail national bankruptcy. The
barbarians of Europe, taking advantage of our condition, will pour down
upon us, and the last spark of true civilisation in our miserable world
will be extinguished--the last refuge for the hunted foot of persecuted
Freedom will be finally swept from the face of the earth!"

Here Mr Tippet brought the saw down on the bench with such violence,
that the dog and cat started incontinently to their legs, and Willie
himself was somewhat shaken.

"Now," continued Mr Tippet, utterly regardless of the sensation he had
created, and wiping the perspiration from his shining head with a
handful of shavings; "now, William Willders, all this may be, _shall_
be, prevented by the adoption of the galvano-hydraulic engine, and the
consequent restriction of the application of coal to the legitimate
purposes of warming our dwellings and cooking our victuals. I mean to
bring this matter before the Home Secretary whenever I have completed my
invention, which, however, is not _quite_ perfected.

"Then, again," continued Mr Tippet, becoming more and more enthusiastic
as he observed the deep impression his explanations were making on
Willie, who stood glaring at him in speechless amazement, "here you have
my improved sausage-machine for converting all animal substances into
excellent sausages. I hold that every animal substance is more or less
good for food, and that it is a sad waste to throw away bones and hair,
etcetera, etcetera, merely because these substances are unpalatable or
difficult to chew. Now, my machine gets over this difficulty. You cut
an animal up just as it is killed, and put it into the machine--hair,
skin, bones, blood, and all--and set it in motion by turning on th