e, you?"

"V, X, P, O."

Much to Mr O'Gallagher's surprise I said them all without one mistake.
Instead of commendation I received abuse. "By all the powers,"
exclaimed my pedagogue, "but everything seems to go wrong to-day; my
hand has been completely idle; this will never do; didn't you tell me,
Mr Keene, that you didn't know your letters?"

"I said I knew some of them, sir."

"If my memory is correct, Mr Keene, you told me that you knew two out
of twenty-six."

"No, sir, you said that."

"That's just as much as to tell me, your preceptor, a classical scholar,
and a Milesian gentleman to boot, that I lie, for which I intend to have
satisfaction, Mr Keene, I assure you. You're guilty in two counts, as
they say at the Old Bailey, where you'll be called up to some of these
days, as sure as you stand there; one count is in telling me a lie, in
saying you did not know your alphabet, when it's quite clear that you
did; and, secondly, in giving me the lie, by stating that I said what
you said. You thought to escape me, but you're mistaken, Mr Keene; so
now, if you please, we will just have a taste of Number 2. Hould out
your hand, Mr Keene: d'ye hear me sir? hould out your hand."

But this I positively refused to do. "You won't, won't you? Well,
then, we must increase the punishment for our contempt of court, and at
once commence with Number 3, which we intended to reserve till
to-morrow. Come along, Phil Mooney, there's fresh mate for you to
carry, and come out Number 3, here's fresh ground for you to travel
over."

Phil Mooney and the birch soon made their appearance: I was hoisted by
the one and scourged by the other.

The first taste of the birch is anything but agreeable; I could only
compare it to the dropping of molten lead. I tried all I could to
prevent crying out, but it was impossible, and at last I roared like a
mad bull; and I was as mad as a bull, and as dangerous. Could I have
picked up any weapon at the moment that I was dropped from the shoulders
of Phil Mooney, it would have gone hard with Mr O'Gallagher. My rage
was greater than my agony. I stood when I had been landed, my chest
heaving, my teeth set fast, and my apparel still in disorder. The
school was dismissed, and I was left alone with the savage pedagogue,
who immediately took up my basket, and began to rummage the contents.

"Make yourself decent, Mr Keene, and don't be shocking my modesty, and
taking away my appetite. Did