head is off his shoulders before he knows where he is. You'll not
believe it, Mr Merry, perhaps; but it's a fact. I once belonged to a
frigate, when we fell in with two of the enemy's line-of-battle ships,
and brought them to action. One, for a short time, was on our starboard
beam, and the other right aft; and we were exposed to a terrible cross
and raking fire: it's only a wonder one of us remained alive, or that
the ship didn't go down. It happened that two men were standing near
me, looking the same way--athwart ships, you'll understand. The name of
one was Bill Cox--the other, Tom Jay. Well, a round-shot came from our
enemy astern, and took off the head of Bill Cox, who was on the larboard
side; while at that identical moment a chain-shot from the ship abeam
cut off Tom Jay's head, who was nearest the starboard side, so cleanly--
he happened to have a long neck--that it was jerked on to the body of
Bill Cox, who, very naturally, putting up his hands to feel what had
become, of his own head, kept it there so tightly that it stuck--
positively stuck; and, the surgeon afterwards plastering it thickly
round, it grew as firmly as if it had always belonged to the body. The
curious thing was, that the man did not afterwards know what to call
himself; when he intended to do one thing he was constantly doing
another. There was Bill Cox's body, d'ye see, and Tom Jay's head. Bill
Cox was rather the shorter of the two, and had had a very ugly mug of
his own; while Tom Jay was a good-looking chap. Consequently, Bill used
sometimes to blush when he heard his good looks spoken of, and sometimes
to get angry, thinking people were making fun of him. At first, Bill
never knew who was hailed, and used to sing out, `Which of us do you
want?' However, it was agreed that he was and should be Bill Cox;
because the head belonged to the body by right of capture; for if Bill's
arms hadn't sprung up and caught it, the head would have gone overboard,
and been no use to nobody. So the matter was settled, as far as the
public was concerned. D was put against Tom Jay's name, and his
disconsolate widow was written to, and told she might marry some one
else as soon as she liked. But Bill wasn't at all comfortable about
himself. He was fond of fat bacon, which Tom Jay could never abide; and
when Bill put it into his new mouth, why, you see, the mouth that was
Tom's spit it out again, and wouldn't let it, by no manner of means, go
do