o harness up the Devil,
It will precipitate a teamsters' strike.
Using non-union horses always does.

YOUNG PLUMBER

Do you think that? Why, that would be a shame,
When times are bad already.

CHILD

Mother, Mother!
Will there be moving pictures?

MERCHANT'S WIFE

I don't know.
Don't talk so loud.

[_Two prosperous-looking men enter. One is elderly,
the other young._

BANKER

Do not apologize
Now that you've brought me. As I said at first,
I am prepared to see a mountebank
Perform his pretty tricks of eloquence
To set the crowd agape. Why, once a week
The Ethical Society hires one
To work the same performance--quite the same
Each time. Unearth a few forgotten doubts,
Or dig your elbow into some new dogma,
And you will see the mob fawn at your feet,
Believing you the greatest mind since Plato.

RICH YOUNG MAN

I'm sure he isn't that kind.

BANKER

We shall see!
And afterwards, the drinks shall be on you.

[_A gawky young man who has flour in his hair, and
a vivacious and pertly dressed girl enter
together._

GIRL

I go to all the lectures that I can.
I do think culture is the grandest thing;
And one acquires it so easily
Nowadays that one shouldn't let it slip.

BAKER

I'd go to lectures, too, if I could go
Always with you.

GIRL

Well, now, perhaps I'll try
To educate you!

BAKER

Oh, I wish you would!

[_Satan enters, dressed as an artisan. He takes a
seat in the far corner, out of sight of the
platform. Two young men enter. Both have books
under their arms._

YOUNG STUDENT

His is the subtlest mind I ever knew.
The gulfs through which he whirled bewildered me
When he would talk. So I am quite prepared
For a great treat to-day.

YOUNGER STUDENT

Oh, I forgot
My note-book. Can you tear a sheet from yours?

SATAN (_to a man beside him who rises, apparently tired
of waiting_)

What, going? Well, I wouldn't, if I were you.
You ought to hear this: I have had a hand
In getting him to speak; and I am sure
There will be something doing.

THE MAN

Well, I'll stay,
Since you, of the committee, vouch for it.

[_More people enter and take their seats._

YOUNG PLUMBER (_to his companion_)

What do you get by being philosop