doin' before seemed like backin' up. I can't breathe 'n' I can't stand
no more of it.

"'Holy cats!' I yells. 'Cut it!'

"'What's the matter?' he says, when he's slowed down.

"'Holy cats!' I says again. 'Is that what racin' in these things is
like?'

"'Oh, no,' he says. 'My mechanic took my racing car over yesterday.
This is only a roadster.'

"'Only a--what?' I says.

"'Only a roadster--a pleasure car,' he says.

"'Oh--a pleasure car,' I says. 'It's lucky you told me.'

"'It's all in getting accustomed to it,' he says.

"I spends the night at a hotel in Philadelphia with a guy named Ben,
who's the mechanic, 'n' the next mawnin' I sees the race. Say!
Prize-fightin', or war, or any of them little games is like button-button
to this automobile racin'! They kills two guys that day 'n' why they
ain't all killed is by me. The young chap finishes second to some
Eyetalian--but that Dago sure knowed he'd been in a race.

"''N' he's the guy that's afraid of a hoss!' I says to myself. 'Now,
wouldn't that scald you?'

"When he leaves me at my joint in New York the young chap writes on a
card 'n' hands it to me.

"'Here's my name and present address,' he says. 'Let me know when you
hear from our friend Peewee.'

"Printed on the card is 'Mr. William Dumont Van Voast,' 'n' in pencil,
'Union Club, New York City.'

"The next day I gets a wire from Peewee in answer to mine.

"'Sound as a dollar. Eighteen hundred bones buys him. P. W. Simpson,'
it says.

"I phones Mr. Van, 'n' he says to go to it--so I wires Peewee.

"'Check on delivery if sound. You know me. Ship with swipe first
express. Blister Jones.'

"In two days Duckfoot Johnson leads ole Rainbow into the joint, 'n' I
tells Brown it's a hoss fur Mr. Van. I looks him over good 'n' he's O.
K. I gets Mr. Van on the phone 'n' he comes up 'n' writes a check fur
eighteen hundred, payable to Peewee. He gives this to Duckfoot, slips
him twenty-five bucks fur hisself, 'n' hands him the fare back to
Loueyville besides.

"'What next?' says Mr. Van to me. 'Do we need a burglar's kit, and some
nitroglycerin, or does that class of crime come later?'

"'We want a vet. right now,' I says. 'This bird has got to lose some
tail feathers.'

"'Well, you are the chief buccaneer!' says Mr. Van. 'I'll serve as one
of the pirate crew at present. When you have the good ship Rainbow
shortened at the stem and ready to carry the jolly Roger over the high
s