se'n you is a ticket on you to win. If I pulls
your shoes off 'n' has my choice between you 'n' them--I takes the
shoes. If I wouldn't be pinched fur it I gives you to the first nut
they lets out of the bughouse--you sour-bellied-mallet-headed-yellow
pup! You cross between a canary 'n' a mud-turtle!'

"That gets me sort-a warmed up, 'n' then I begins to really tell this
dog what the sad sea waves is sayin'. When I can't think of nothin'
more to call him, I stops.

"'Outside of that he's all right, ain't he?' says some one behind me.

"'No,' I says, 'he has other faults besides.'

"I turns round 'n' there's a fat guy with a cigar in his face. He's
been standin' there listenin'. He's got a chunk of ice stuck in his
chest that you have to look at through smoked glasses. He's got
another one just as big on his south hook. Take him all 'n' all he
looks like the real persimmon.

"'Do you own him?' says the fat guy.

"'You've had no call to insult a stranger,' I says. 'But it's on me--I
owns him.'

"'I'm sorry you've got such a bad opinion of him,' he says. 'I was
thinkin' of buyin' him.'

"I looks around fur this guy's keeper--they ain't nobody in sight.

"'This ain't such a bad hoss,' I says. 'Them remarks you hears don't
mean nothin'. They're my regular pet names fur him.'

"'I'd like to be around once when you talk to a bad one,' says the guy.
'Now look a-here,' he says. 'I'll buy this horse, but get over all
thoughts of makin' a sucker out of me. What do you want for him? If
you try to stick me up--I'm gone. The woods is full of this kind.
Let's hear from you!'

"'Fur a hundred I throws in a halter,' I says.

"'You've sold one,' says the guy, 'n' peels off five yellow men from a
big roll.

"When I've got the kale safe in my clothes, I gets curious.

"'What do you want with this hoss?' I says.

"'He's to run on rollers in a racing scene,' he says.

"'Well,' I says, 'some skates has rollers on 'em, maybe they'll help
this one. God knows he ain't any good with just legs!'

"'He's plenty good enough for his act,' says the guy. 'And say, I want
another one like him, and a man to go on the road with 'em. Can you
put me wise?'

"'How much would be crowded towards the party you want, Saturday
nights?' I says.

"'Twenty dollars and expenses,' says he.

"'Make it thirty,' I says. 'Travelin's hard on them that loves their
home.'

"'We'll split it,' he says. 'Twenty-five's the word.'