stralians, mothers of enlisted men, mothers of men who would have
enlisted if they could, Boy Scouts and loan workers until my dogs are
jolly well near broken down on me. Golly, I wish I was young enough to
enjoy a quiet night's sleep in the trenches for a change."

Later I saw him gloomily surveying the world from the window of a
passing cab. He was evidently through for the time being at least.

_April 30th._ I took my bar-keeping pal home over the last week-end
liberty. It was a mistake. He admits it himself. Mother will never
have him in the house again. Mother could never get him in the house
again. He fears her. The first thing he did was to mix poor dear
grandfather a drink that caused the old gentleman to forget his game
leg which had been damaged in battles, ranging anywhere from the
Mexican to the Spanish wars, according to grandfather's mood at the
time he is telling the story, but which I believe, according to a
private theory of mine, was really caught in a folding bed. However it
was, grandfather forgot all about this leg of his entirely and
insisted on dancing with Nora, our new maid. Mother, of course, was
horrified. But not content with that, this friend of mine concocted
some strange beverage for the pater which so delighted him that he
loaned my so-called pal the ten spot I had been intending to borrow.
The three of them sat up until all hours of the night playing cards
and telling ribald stories. As mother took me upstairs to bed she
gazed down on her father-in-law and her husband in the clutches of
this demon and remarked bitterly to me:

"Like father, like son," and I knew that she was thoroughly determined
to make both of them pay dearly for their pleasant interlude.
Breakfast the next morning was a rather trying ordeal. Grandfather
once more resorted to his game leg with renewed vigor, referring
several times to the defense of the Alamo, so I knew he was pretty low
in his mind. Father withdrew at the sight of bacon. Mother laughed
scornfully as he departed. My friend ate a hearty breakfast and kept a
sort of a happy-go-lucky monologue throughout its entire course. I
took him out walking afterward and forgot to bring him back.

[Illustration: "THE FIRST THING HE DID WAS TO MIX POOR DEAR
GRANDFATHER A DRINK"]

_April 31st._ Have just come off guard duty and feel quite exhausted.
The guns are altogether too heavy. I can think of about five different
things I could remove from them without g