however undersized
(Bear's grease or paraffin or both
Will largely stimulate their growth).

The fish-like and lethargic eye
We should endeavour to efface,
And foster visual orbs that vie
With those of eagles in its place;
While belladonna's artful use
An extra brilliance may produce.

Nor are there wanting ways and means
Enabling experts to impose
By sundry suitable machines
Fine character upon the nose;
And nasal dignity, we find,
Promptly reacts upon the mind.

But those who in this great reform
Of face and feature are engrossed
Agree that to enforce a norm
In labial fabric matters most;
The lips that help a race to win
Unquestionably must be thin.

Therefore with pleasure unalloyed
We learn that great Columbia's sons,
With PERSHING busily employed
In laying plans to down the Huns,
According to a trusty pen
Are "thin-lipped and determined men."

* * * * *

On the retirement of certain Tanks from their War Bond duties:--

"They can understand, we hope, how very jolly it has been to have
them, and how sorry we are to see them go. We shall probably sing
those typical English ballads 'Auld Lang Syne' and 'Will ye no
come back again?'"--_Daily Paper_.

A Scottish correspondent suggests the addition of a few other "typical
English ballads," such as "The Wearing of the Green," "Men of
Harlech," "The Star-Spangled Banner" and "The Marseillaise."

* * * * *

"Applications will be received by Mr. J. Arnold, Chairman of the
Bathurst Municipality, for a TOWN CLERK, whose duties will be
the following, viz.: Competent Bookkeeper, Sanitary Inspector,
Street Inspector, and to supervise labour party on roads, Native
Location Inspector, Dog Tax Collector, Ranger, Caretaker of the
Municipal Dipping Tank and be able to mix dip. Kafir language
essential."--_South African Paper_.

And he'll want a lot of it.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE WAIT. HIS MASTER'S VOICE. "I'VE NOTHING FOR YOU. GO
AWAY!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: Mr. Podgers (persuasively hospitable). "NOW
COME, GRANDMA, DO ALLOW ME TO GIVE YOU JUST A LITTLE--SAY FIVE
SHILLINGSWORTH--MORE TURKEY."]

* * * * *

SIDNI THE STOREMAN.

FRAGMENT OF AN EDDA.

At the downcome of darkne