t? Out wfd ut! Don't be thinkun' ye can throw dust in our
eyes because we're Irishmen!" A threatening tone prevails in Mr.
McIlheny's address at the mounting confusion and hesitation in
Roberts. "Come! are ye deef, mahn?"

Roberts, in spite of Campbell's dumb-show inciting him to fiction:
"I--I--if you will kindly step apart here, I can explain. I was very
confused when I spoke to Mrs. McIlheny."

McIlheny, following him and Willis into the corner: "Fwhat made ye
take my wife for a cuke? Did she luke anny more like a cuke than yer
own wife? Her family is the best in County Mayo. Her father kept six
cows, and she never put her hands in wather. And ye come up to her in
a public place like this, where ye're afraid to spake aboove yer own
breath, and ask her if she's after beun' the cuke yer wife's engaged.
Fwhat do ye mane by ut?"

Roberts: "My dear sir, I know--I can understand how it seems
offensive; but I can assure you that I had no intention--no--no--" he
falters, with an imploring glance at Campbell, who takes the word.

Campbell: "Look here, Mr. McIlheny, you can appreciate the feelings of
a gentleman situated as my friend was here. He had to meet a lady whom
he had never seen before, and didn't know by sight; and we
decided--Mrs. McIlheny was so pleasant and kindly looking--that he
should go and ask her if she had seen a lady of the description he was
looking for, and--"

McIlheny: "Yessor! I can appreciate ahl _that._ But fwhy did he ask
her if _she_ was the lady? Fwhy did he ask her if she was a cuke?
That's what I wannt to know!"

Campbell: "Well, now, I'm sure you can understand that. He was
naturally a good deal embarrassed at having to address a strange lady;
his mind was full of his wife's cook, and instead of asking her if
she'd _seen_ a cook, he bungled and he blundered, and asked her--I
suppose--if she _was_ a cook. Can't you see that? how it would
happen?"

McIlheny, with conviction: "Yessor, I can. And I'll feel it an hannor
if you gintlemen will join me in a glass of wine on the carner, across
the way--"

Campbell: "But your train?"

McIlheny: "Oh, domn the thrain! But I'll just stip aboord and tell
Mrs. McIlheny I've met a frind, an' I'll be out by the next thrain,
an' I'll be back wid you in a jiffy." He runs out, and Campbell turns
to Roberts.

Roberts: "Good heavens, Willis! what are we going to do? Surely, we
can't go out and drink with this man?"

Campbell: "I'm afraid we sha'n't