of merriment that nearly induced me to break his
head with the poker.

"Am I to understand, then, Mr. Finucane, that this practical joke of your
was contrived for my benefit, and for the purpose of holding me up to the
ridicule of your confounded acquaintances."

"Nothing of the kind, upon my conscience," said Fin, drying his eyes,
and endeavouring to look sorry and sentimental. "If I had only the least
suspicion in life that it was you, upon my oath I'd not have had the
hydrophobia at all, and, to tell you the truth, you were not the only
one frightened--you alarmed me devilishly too."

"I alarmed you! Why, how can that be?"

"Why, the real affair is this: I was bringing these two packages of notes
down to my cousin Callaghan's bank in Cork--fifteen thousand pounds
--devil a less; and when you came into the coach at Naas, after driving
there with your four horses, I thought it was all up with me. The guard
just whispered in my ear, that he saw you look at the priming of your
pistols before getting in; and faith I said four paters, and a hail Mary,
before you'd count five. Well, when you got seated, the thought came
into my mind that maybe, highwayman as you were, you would not like dying
a natural death, more particularly if you were an Irishman; and so I
trumped up that long story about the hydrophobia, and the gentleman's
thumb, and devil knows what besides; and, while I was telling it, the
cold perspiration was running down my head and face, for every time you
stirred, I said to myself, now he'll do it. Two or three times, do you
know, I was going to offer you ten shillings in the pound, and spare my
life; and once, God forgive me, I thought it would not be a bad plan to
shoot you by 'mistake,' do you perceave?"

"Why, upon my soul, I'm very much obliged to you for your excessively
kind intentions; but really I feel you have done quite enough for me on
the present occasion. But, come now, doctor, I must get to bed, and
before I go, promise me two things--to dine with us to-day at the mess,
and not to mention a syllable of what occurred last night--it tells,
believe me, very badly for both; so, keep the secret, for if these
confounded fellows of ours ever get hold of it, I may sell out,
or quit the army; I'll never hear the end of it!"

"Never fear, my boy; trust me. I'll dine with you, and you're as safe as
a church-mouse for any thing I'll tell them; so, now you'd better change
your clothes, for I'm th