discovered he was not a gentleman. Well, now,
you'd never guess how I did it; and, faith I always thought it a very
cute thing of me, and both of us in the dark."

"Well, I really confess it must have been a very difficult thing, under
the circumstances; pray how did you contrive?" said the major.

"Just guess how."

"By the tone of his voice perhaps, and his accent," said Curzon.

"Devil a bit, for he spoke remarkably well, considering how far gone he
was in liquor."

"Well, probably by the touch of his hand; no bad test."

"No; you're wrong again, for it was by the hair I had a hold of him for
fear of falling, for he was always stooping down. Well, you'd never
guess it; it was just by the touch of his foot."

"His foot! Why how did that give you any information?"

"There it is now; that's just what only an Irishman would ever have made
any thing out of; for while he was stumbling about, he happened to tread
upon my toes, and never, since I was born, did I feel any thing like the
weight of him. 'Well,' said I, 'the loss of your hat may give you a
cold, my friend; but upon my conscience you are in no danger of wet feet
with such a pair of strong brogues as you have on you.' Well, he laughed
at that till I thought he'd split his sides, and, in good truth, I could
not help joining in the fun, although my foot was smarting like mad, and
so we jogged along through the rain, enjoying the joke just as if we were
sitting by a good fire, with a jorum of punch between us. I am sure I
can't tell you how often we fell that night, but my clothes the next
morning were absolutely covered with mud, and my hat crushed in two; for
he was so confoundedly drunk it was impossible to keep him up, and he
always kept boring along with his head down, so that my heart was almost
broke in keeping him upon his legs. I'm sure I never had a more
fatiguing march in the whole Peninsula, than that blessed mile and a
half; but every misfortune has an end at last, and it was four o'clock,
striking by the college clock, as we reached the barracks. After
knocking a couple of times, and giving the countersign, the sentry opened
the small wicket, and my heart actually leaped with joy that I had done
with my friend; so, I just called out the sergeant of the guard, and
said, 'will you put that poor fellow on the guard-bed till morning, for I
found him on the common, and he could neither find his way home nor tell
me where he lived.' 'And whe