ds, as he and Abe Bolton lounged near the
parade-ground one fine afternoon, shortly after the arrival of the
regiment in camp of instruction. "You remember that that was his
favorite figure of rhetoric, and he repeated it several times?"

"Don't know anything about figger of retterick," growled Abe, who,
his comrades said, had the evenest temper in the regiment, "for he was
always mad. But I do remember that he said that over several times,
with a lot o' other things without much pint to 'em, until I thought I'd
drop, I was so thirsty and tired."

"Yes? Well, now if you want to get a good idea of what that expression
meant, look over there. Not only his heart swells, but he swells all
over."

"I should think he did," replied Abe, after a moment's inspection.
"Unless his hat has an Injy-rubber band, he'll have to git it cut offen
his head, which ought to be hooped, for it can't swell no more without
busting."

It was Jacob Alspaugh crossing the parade ground in more than Solomonic
splendor of uniform. His inflated form bore upon it all the blue and
tinsel prescribed by the Army Regulations for the raiment and insignia
of a First Lieutenant of Infantry, with such additions as had been
suggested by his exuberant fancy. His blue broadcloth was the finest
and shiniest. Buttons and bugles seemed masses of barbric gold. From
broad-brimmed hat floated the longest ostrich feather procurable in
the shops. Shining leather boots, field-marshal pattern, came above his
knees. Yellow gauntlets covered his massive hands and reached nearly
to his elbows, and on his broad shoulders were great glittering
epaulets--then seldom worn by anyone, and still more rarely by volunteer
officers. He evidently disdained to hide the crimson glories of his sash
in the customary modest way, by folding it under his belt, but had
made of it a broad bandage for his abdominal regions, which gae him
the appearance of some gigantic crimson-breasted blue-bird. Behind him
trailing, clanking on the ground as he walked, not the modest little
sword of his rank, but a long cavalry saber, with glittering steel
scabbard. But the sheen of gold and steel was dimmed beside the glow of
intense satisfaction with his make-up that shone in his face. There might
be alloy in his gleaming buttons and bullion epaulets; there was none in
his happiness.

"I feel sorry for the poor lilies of the field that he comes near,"
sighed Kent, sympathetically. "He is like them now, i