s and catch
a fellow for a bet, who wants to put up money that you can never learn
a single sentence of them. Don't say another word, and you can stand in
with me on the bet."

"Had your head measured since you got this idea into it?" asked Abe
Bolton, with well-assumed interest.

"If he did, he had to use a surveyor's chain," suggested Kent, flipping
another small pebble in the direction of the toad's retreat.

Alspaugh had grown so great upon the liberal feed of the meat of
flattery, that he could hardly make himself believe that he had heard
aright, and that these men did not care a fig for himself or his
authority. Then recovering confidence in the fidelity of their ears, it
seemed to him that such conduct was aggravated mutiny, which military
discipline demanded should receive condign punishment on the spot. Had
he any confidence in his ability to use the doughy weapon at his side,
he would not have resisted the strong temptation to draw his sword
and make an example then and there of the contemners of his power and
magnificence. But the culprits has shown such an aptitude in the use of
arms as to inspire his wholesome respect, and he was very far from sure
that they might not make a display of his broadsword an occasion for
heaping fresh ridicule upon him. An opportune remembrance came to his
aid:

"If it wasn't for the strict orders we officers got yesterday not to
allow ourselves to be provoked under any circumstances into striking
our men, I'd learn you fellers mighty quick not to insult your superior
officers. I'd bring you to time, I can tell you. But I'll settle with
you yit. I'll have you in the guard hose on bread and water in short
meter, and then I'll learn you to be respectful and obedient."

"He means 'teach,' instead of 'learn,'" said Kent, apologetically, to
Abe. "It's just awful to have a man, wearing shoulder-straps, abuse
English grammar in that way. What's grammar done to him to deserve such
treatment? He hasn't even a speaking acquaintance with it."

"I 'spose it's because grammar can't hit back. That's the kind he always
picks on," answered Abe.

"You'll pay for this," shouted Alspaugh, striding off after the Sargent
of the Guard.

At that moment a little drummer appeared by the flagstaff, and beat a
lively rataplan.

"That's for dress-parade," said Kent Edwards, rising. "We'd better skip
right over to quarters and fall in."

"Wish their dress-parades were in the brimstone flames,"